Republicans want to reach out and join hands — no, really, they do (Barf Alert)

Terre Haute Tribune Star ^ | 9/8/2008 | Stephanie Salter

[markomalley]

They must think you’re stupid.

— Barack Obama, Aug. 6, on the GOP’s new theme of “change”



If there are any Republicans reading this, you might as well stop. Your party leaders have made the guidelines clear.

I am someone who believes Barack Obama would make a better president than would John McCain. Therefore, you’ve nothing to find here but a waste of your valuable time, enlightened mind and huge, compassionate heart.

I’m just another American deserving only of your mockery and scorn. Why people like me are not rounded up and put on the next boat to Gitmo must seem a mystery.

But then, that’s what makes the USA the great, flawless, omniscient place it is, the country that never has to apologize to no one ’bout nothin’. Even traitorous, elitist, bleeding-heart dumb butts like me are allowed to live here and reap the rewards created by the people of the Party That Knows Everything.

Republicans.

All the trappings of my individual life? Of the lives of millions of other elites, naifs, traitors and dumb butts?

Don’t make the Republicans laugh.

GOP standard bearers from Rudy Giuliani to Fred Thompson to the self-likened pit bull with lipstick, Sarah Palin, spent most of last week relegating all of us individuals and our details to the garbage dump of American citizenship.

So what if we regularly attend church? So what if our paychecks put us near the low end of the middle class? So what if we consider voting our duty, not our privilege?

So what if we pay our income, property and other taxes whether we approve of where the money goes or not?

So what if our college degrees came through scholarships and our folks’ financial sacrifices? So what if we’re glad to spend the rest of our days trying to repay our parents in every way for those and the other things they gave up?

So what if we wake in the middle of the night in fear of a catastrophic illness that will wipe out our finances or we wonder what to cut from our budget to accommodate the price of a new prescription medicine?

So what if we give our time and treasure to organizations and groups that are dedicated to helping people who have it tougher than we do or to people who are trying to paint, sculpt, play, sing and write more beauty and passion into the world?

So what if we consider the quality public education we received to be the kind of education all American kids should get, whether they live in an affluent suburb or a blighted inner city?

So what if we respect and admire hard-working moms and dads and faithful spouses who put family first? So what if we watch out and care for our neighbors and they for us?

We support Obama in 2008, so all that stuff is unimportant, unredeeming detail.

According to what I heard, night after night, from St. Paul, Minn., a Democrat is a person (barely) who is meant to be mocked, patronized and one-dimensionalized for a lifetime of beliefs and actions. Starting with the Democratic presidential nominee and moving all the way out to the hundreds of thousands who have embraced his call for change — we’re self-deluded cartoons.

To Republicans, “liberal” and “Democrat” are synonymous. Extra black box warning labels are necessary. People who have never met us should feel free to apply any and all of the following modifiers:

Stupid, selfish, misguided, calculating, fake, hypocritical, angry, immoral, uncaring, godless, unpatriotic, terrorist-coddling, quiche-eating, wine-sipping, tree-hugging, limousine-riding and me-first/country-second.

In the same way that Vietnam War vet and triple amputee Max Cleland was transformed into a slacker patriot by Republicans in a Senate campaign, the Party That Knows Everything is laboring to transform a mixed-race son raised by a single mother and grandparents into an elitist snob who worries more about a terrorist’s Miranda rights than about the safety of our nation.

A man who is black enough to have been instantly mistrusted and disliked by strangers — hundreds of times in his life — is being accused of harboring an overly “cosmopolitan” perspective that causes him to disconnect from and look down upon his fellow citizens who work hard, live in small towns and struggle to keep their dreams alive.

Because he isn’t a Republican, Barack Obama’s Ivy League education is the sign of an out-of-touch, privileged prig, while the current GOP president’s Ivy League education and East Coast aristocratic upbringing are, as always … inconsequential.

Because he is a Democrat, it is barely worth noting by the GOP — 93 percent of whose convention delegates were white — that Obama is not only the first black person nominated by a major party for president, he is the only African American now serving in the U.S. Senate and the fifth black Senator ever in U.S. history.

Because she belongs to the Party That Knows Everything, Palin’s nomination for vice president is evidence of Republican inclusion and gender pro-activity — even though it comes 24 years after Democrats chose a woman for the vice presidential slot.

Because she is a Republican, Palin’s mayoral stint in a town of fewer than 10,000 people is “executive experience.” Obama’s post-college years of creating job training and college tutoring programs, of protecting poor tenants in inner-city Chicago and working as a civil rights attorney count for nothing — nada — but punchlines about “community organizers” in GOP speeches.

As for the contrast in the girlhoods of Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain — a black woman who grew up in a small apartment on Chicago’s Southside simply can’t understand blue-collar and under-paid Americans the way a blond beer heiress with seven homes can because the rich lady is … a Republican.

Sen. Obama’s belief that America can be a better place, if her people pull together and give up for the greater good? Palin put that sort of vision thing in its proper place of ridicule when she asked her convention audience, “What does he actually seek to accomplish, after he’s done turning back the waters and healing the planet?”

That line almost brought down the house with raucous laughter and cheers. The Party That Knows Everything was greatly amused.

And the traitorous, elitist, bleeding-heart dumb butts?

In the 24 hours after Palin’s speech, we got on the Internet and donated $10 million to the Obama campaign, the most that’s been raised in a single day.

Mock that.

[markomalley]

In the 24 hours after Palin’s speech, we got on the Internet and donated $10 million to the Obama campaign, the most that’s been raised in a single day.

Mock that.

In the 24 hours after Palin's speech, the McCain Palin ticket got a four point bump. In 72 hours after Palin's speech, they got a 14 point bump.

Stick your $10M, byatch!!!

[screaminsunshine]

Not the next boat to Gitmo. But Chatahoochee might not be a bad idea.

[donnab]

Maybe she should ask Obama where that money is being spent because it sure isnt getting results.

[Question Liberal Authority]

If there are any Republicans reading this, you might as well stop.

I took her advice, and stopped reading right there.

[itsthejourney]

She’s smarter than I thought. Those desciptions fit most every RAT I’ve run into to a tee.

[avacado]

"Because he is a Democrat, it is barely worth noting by the GOP — 93 percent of whose convention delegates were white — that Obama is not only the first black person nominated by a major party for president, he is the only African American now serving in the U.S. Senate and the fifth black Senator ever in U.S. history."

FYI: Obama's mother was white. He came from a white woman's womb from an non-American black male.

[snowrip]

And a $12 million donation bump.

[I still care]

“Why people like me are not rounded up and put on the next boat to Gitmo must seem a mystery.”

One of the most aggravating things about stupid libs is that they think they know how we think.

They must have thought it was really funny, trashing Sarah Palin’s morality. They were sure us moronic fundies would throw her out over that. If you read any of their blogs, they are positive we hate minorities and women. Clueless.

[snowrip]

ooorah.

Sarah Palin, A REPUBLICAN, will be the first female VP in the history of the US, and very likely the first female President after that... which is why the liberal brownshirts are yelping so loudly.

[Niteranger68]

Even with Stephanie misrepresenting our side, she still can't make a point. That's like flipping a coin with yourself and still losing.

[markomalley]

He came from a white woman's womb from an non-American black male.

I dunno, if you read the Arab press, the father was considered an Arab Muslim...

[saganite]

Lots of whining and self pity here but not much else.

[Archon of the East]

So what if we consider the quality public education we received to be the kind of education all American kids should get, whether they live in an affluent suburb or a blighted inner city?

Then give them vouchers you, you... see your own article. Yes who really cares about things you describe, certainly not many on your side. You only pretend to through government programs ( so you really don't have to do anything but advocate) which very often if not always has the opposite effect of the policies "stated" intent. We all know what your real intent is.

[Earthdweller]

An awful lot of head exploding bitterness from a well meaning used up tool. It’s sad really.

[Melinda]

“Maybe she should ask Obama where that money is being spent because it sure isn't getting results.”

It's to help cover the rental costs for those styrofoam pillars, you know, all the trappings it takes to make one inexperienced novice candidate look “presidential”. The visual cues are necessary to help all of his supporters who rely on visual cues to form opinions, as intellectual arguments are just too confusing for them.

[jennyjenny]

And the traitorous, elitist, bleeding-heart dumb butts? In the 24 hours after Palin’s speech, we got on the Internet and donated $10 million to the Obama campaign, the most that’s been raised in a single day.

Giving money to Obama while your parents and children are starving, you can't afford to heat your house or fill your gas tank, or pay your mortgage, does, in fact, make you a dumb butt, I'm afraid.

[Sweet Hour of Prayer]

It’s amazing with all the news media support, US Congress support,Hollywood support, music industry support, foreign support, liberal college intelligentsia support... the Democrat writer of this pathetic column feels like a victim that has been unfairly represented.

Go feel sorry for yourself, you have tons of willing and vocal allies!

If you want to be genuinely treated rudely, try wearing a McCain/Palin pin!

[SaveTheChief]

These are the senseless rantings of just another whiny drama queen who thinks she is smarter than the rest of us.

[CharlesWayneCT]

Obama has an awful lot of offices here in the Manassas, Virginia area. Not sure what good they will do him, but that’s where some of his money has gone.

[AmericaUnited]

Why people like me are not rounded up and put on the next boat to Gitmo

Stephie, that is a most excellent idea!