You need to sell one of them on eBay. If you need help writing the script, it will be a pleasure! Or, I will list it as long as I know it can be delivered to the winning bidder. Are you in?
I'm having trouble figuring out how to make the NEA look like something anyone would want to buy. Same problem for Dept of Education, Dept of Energy, and the rest of them. Any ideas.
Seriously, I wonder if we could do this as a spoof. Sell a certificate (that carries no rights) entitling the user to put crosses in urine--cool stuff like that. Or that entitles the buyer, as honorary secretary of education to dumb down any three subjects of his or her choice any say anything he wants (so long as it is nasty) about his choice of any three of the following American Presidents, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan.
Make it clear the proceeds were to be donated to McCain/Palin.
We could also sell an evening with William Ayer's, well a William Ayers lookalike. Discuss how to launch your political career . . . There are actually some agitprop possibilities here.