Verbatim: The Speech That Rocked The Republicans And Sent Democrats Back On Their Heels

Following is the speech Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin delivered Wednesday night in St. Paul, Minn., in accepting the Republican Party's nomination for vice president.

Mr. Chairman, delegates and fellow citizens: I am honored to be considered for the nomination for vice president of the United States.

I accept the call to help our nominee for president to serve and defend America. I accept the challenge of a tough fight in this election against confident opponents at a crucial hour for our country.

And I accept the privilege of serving with a man who has come through much harder missions and met far graver challenges and knows how tough fights are won — the next president of the United States, John S. McCain.

It was just a year ago when all the experts in Washington counted out our nominee because he refused to hedge his commitment to the security of the country he loves.

With their usual certitude, they told us that all was lost — there was no hope for this candidate who said that he would rather lose an election than see his country lose a war.

But the pollsters and pundits overlooked just one thing when they wrote him off. They overlooked the caliber of the man himself — the determination, resolve and sheer guts of Sen. John McCain. The voters knew better.

And maybe that's because they realize there is a time for politics and a time for leadership, a time to campaign and a time to put our country first.

Our nominee for president is a true profile in courage, and people like that are hard to come by.

* NFL teams may draft Sarah Palin, if they forfeit all their other players forever, to maintain league parity.
* Iran’s nuclear program is a response to Sarah Palin.
* We don’t know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match because they’ve never invented a cage that can hold Sarah Palin.
* Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.
* Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.
* Three of Sarah Palin’s five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.
* Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.
* It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.
* Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.
* Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for yeti pelts with a slingshot.
* Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooper’s body because she threw him from the plane.
* The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eyes.
* Sarah Palin would have just had an Eagle drop the Ring into Mount Doom.
* The raw energy of Sarah Palin melts the Alaskan ice roads every spring.
* Sarah Palin used to wrestle kodiak bears in Alaskan bare knuckles fight clubs.
* Sarah Palin once bagged a caribou by staring it down until it died.
* Sarah Palin turned down a job as skipper of a Deadliest Catch boat because it wasn’t challenging enough
* Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.
* Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.
* Little known fact: without her glasses, looking deep into Sarah Palin’s eyes will blind you with the beauty of the tundra sun.
* Sarah Palin’s brain is three times the size of Joe Biden’s. It’s science.
* Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.
* Fox is starting a new reality show… when Sarah Palin Attacks
* Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
* Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin bout
* Ben Linus does Sarah Palin’s bidding
* Jesus has a bracelet that says, “WWSPD?”
* Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!
* In the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful
* Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout.
* When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.
* Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.
* Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.
* Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.
* Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.
* Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
* Sarah Palin can divide by zero.
* The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.
* Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.