I was not attacking you at all. I`m sssooo sorry that you thought that. Please, please accept my aplologies. I have lived with my mother with mental problems all her life. My point was that she could not be put into a neat little box with a diagnosis. I am sssooo sorry if I hurt you. Did not mean to do anything like that. We are all just people trying to connect. That`s it thats all I was trying to do.
Honestly, I didn’t take it as an attack.
You must understand that when it comes to the diagnosis and treatment of mental illness, it’s not a box, its a catagory. With any diagnosis it is a series of symptoms that lead to that diagnosis. That’s how it’s done.
This is an example of the DSM-IV symptoms for Narcissistic personality disorder.
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Compare that to the Borderline Personality Disorder
1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. chronic feelings of emptiness
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
I can tell you that just looking at a person, it is very hard to tell a big difference in these disorders. You wouldn’t believe it, but it’s true. Those people with either disorder can act exactly the same. Only though the diagnostic criteria (and asking many questions) is a doctor able to come up with a diagnosis and treat in the proper way. Every case is different and some cross over.
The sooner one has a positive diagnosis, the sooner the proper treatment can begin.
All the best to you and your mom. Mental illness is not horrendous. It’s a disorder like a heart condition or diabetes. Under proper medication people can live perfectly normal lives.