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> NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

> ‘We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
> everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots,
> keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
> blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our
> great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and
> establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt
> ridden, and delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a
> whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim
> they require a Bill of NON-Rights.’
>
> ARTICLE I: You do not have the right
>
> to a new car, big screen TV,
>
> or any other form of wealth.
>
> More power to you if you can
>
> legally acquire them, but no one is
> guaranteeing anything.
>
> ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country
> is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone —not just you!
>
> You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
> etc.; but the world is full of idiots,
>
> and probably always will be.
>
> ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
> stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect
> the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
> wealthy.
>
> ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
> Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
> help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
> generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
> nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional
> couch potatoes. This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to
> work..don’t expect everyone else to take care of you!
>
> ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
> nice, but if it would turn out the same way as current public housing,
> we’re not interested in public health care.
>
> ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
> people..If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t
> be surprised if the rest of us want to see you put away for the rest of
> your sorry life.
>
> ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If
> you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens,
> don’t be
>
> surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away
>
> in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV
> or a life of leisure.
>
> ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right
>
> to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help
> you along in hard times,but we expect you
>
> to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
> training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)
>
> ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
> means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is
> a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic
> laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
>
> ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you
> are from, English is our language.
>
> Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!
>
> (and last but not least....)
>
> ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right
>
> to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on
> the belief in one God You are given the freedom to believe in any
> religion, any faith, or no faith at all, with no fear of persecution.
> The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if
> you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!