I ride a lot, too. I have two rules when I ride. I ride like I’m invisible and I assume every car out there is trying to hit me.
I also drive a lot. Goes with my job.
I think what would help the situation in many cases would be cyclists using a warning bell or horn unique to bicycles.
A big piece of why cyclists are so invisible and such a surprise to motorists is that they’re so silent. They come whipping into your field of view from “nowhere” - and this sensation of “coming from nowhere” I think is due to there being no precursor sound to alert motorists to even look in that direction.
Of course, we still have to contend with the cases where the motorist is thick as a brick - you know the type — there is a train coming across a crossing, they’re blowing a 100dB horn, a set of bright lights on the front of the train, the ground is shaking, there is a column of diesel soot rising into the air... and the motorist “didn’t see the train coming.” There’s no fixin’ stupid.