You know it’s an epic episode when simply reading an excerpt of the script makes you laugh until you cry.
New scene - Jerry and George in Jerry’s apartment.
JERRY: No Jon Voight Day, huh?
GEORGE: No. Now I’ll always have this doubt about the car. What, your jaw still hurts?
JERRY: Yeah, it’s all swollen. I think I may have chipped a tooth when I fell yesterday.
GEORGE: You should have somebody take a look at that.
JERRY: I’m calling dentists all day here, there’s nobody working the day before Thanksgiving.
GEORGE: You going to the party?
JERRY: No, I don’t know if I’m invited.
GEORGE: Well, there’s going to be a lot of dentists there.
JERRY: Yeah, you’re right.
GEORGE: You don’t want to suffer with this all weekend.
JERRY: Yeah, I gotta see a dentist, this is killin’ me. Well, I’ll take a chance. We’ll go together.
GEORGE: Maybe I’ll just meet you there.
JERRY: You don’t want to go with me?
GEORGE: Jerry, for all I know this guy went out of his way to not invite you. How am I gonna feel if I show up with an uninvited, unwelcome intruder?
JERRY: The way I feel when I go places with you? [Kramer enters.] Hey, so’d you find my sneakers yet?
KRAMER: No. [To George] But I did run into somebody you might be interested in, a Mr. Jon Voight, the actor?
GEORGE: Jon Voight! Are you kiddin’ me? Did you talk to him?
KRAMER: Well, he was a little standoffish.
GEORGE: What, you didn’t ask him about the car?
KRAMER: No, I couldn’t, his cab pulled away. But he did, however, make an impression on me. [Pulls up his sleeve and shows George his arm.] Look.
JERRY: What?
KRAMER: His tooth marks. He bit me.
GEORGE: Jon Voight bit you?
JERRY: Well, what is he, a vampire?
KRAMER: No, it’s justifiable. He thought I was going for his wallet.
GEORGE (looking at Kramer’s arm): He left perfect imprints.
KRAMER: That he did. Now, you got that pencil with the bite marks on it? We get a trained eye to match ‘em up, and we’ll see whether or not you’re driving Jon Voight’s car!
JERRY: Oh, please.
GEORGE: Wait a minute, wait, it’s not that stupid.
JERRY: No, it’s stupid.
GEORGE: Why? Why isn’t it possible? I mean, they’re both bite marks.
JERRY: So you’re gonna show up at that party with a chewed-up pencil and Kramer’s gnarled arm.
GEORGE: It’s worth a shot. [Goes to the door.]
JERRY: So, Kramer, you wanna go to the party together?
KRAMER: Jerry, look, come on, I’m an invited guest. I can’t be aiding and abetting some...party-crasher.