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To: Lady Jag

It’s on C-SPAN 2 on my cable.”House of Representatives” live coverage on till 3:30 pm ET


421 posted on 07/25/2008 11:38:00 AM PDT by GitmoSailor (AZ Cold War Veteran==Keep FR free donate today==NOBAMA==FairnessDoctrine on FR????)
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To: GitmoSailor
I watched it for a while but found myself chamberin a round and I really shouldn't be buying a new TV right now.

Besides, I started obsessing on proctologists and this joke:

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding a little...

As he was crossing a bridge, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, and motioned him to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like a good citizen.

The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, BOY?"

Bob thought for a second and said, "Uh, 60?"

"67 mph, BOY! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop.

"If you already knew" replied Bob, "why did you ask me?"

Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!"

The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"

Bob answered, "I've got a job! I've got a very good job!"

The cop leaned in the window, sniffing the air, and said, "What kind of a job would a smelly bum like you have?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.

"What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman.

"I'm a rectum stretcher!"

The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?"

Bob explained, "When someone needs to be stretched, I'm the one who does it. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then both hands. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until the rectum is a full six feet across."

The cop, absorbed with this bizarre image in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot rectum?"

Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!"

423 posted on 07/25/2008 11:45:57 AM PDT by Lady Jag ( I dreamed I surfed all day in my monthly donor wonder bra - https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
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