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(Contrary to popular opinion, the term sexual orientation does not define one as a homosexual any more than the term, “lust” defines one as a rapist or the term “anger” defines one as a murderer or the term “greed” defines one as a thief.)

Okay — I get your analogy with theft and murder, but your suggestion that the only thing that separates homosexuals and heterosexuals is behavioral still makes no sense to me.

If a non-psychotic person in possession of feelings never acts upon them, then why can you not understand that applying a behavioral label based upon those feelings to that person inappropriate?

Even Jesus suggested that what’s in one’s heart is what’s important when it comes to such things as theft and lust.

While God or His Son can see into a person’s heart, mere humans cannot. Therefore, we are obliged to judge on the basis of what we can see: behavior.

If a man who is presumably mentally healthy, marries more than one woman, we call him a polygamist and legally sanction him accordingly. However, if he merely want to marry more than one woman in his heart but does not, do we call him a polygamist or visit legal sanctions upon him? It does not matter to any, except God, if he feels like marrying more than one woman but does not. For that matter, if a woman feels like she wants to sell her body, but does not, is she a prostitute?

Similarly, if a man feels like he wants to lie with another man as with a woman, but does not, then why is he any different the man who feels like he wants to marry more than one woman or the woman who feels like she wants to sell her body?

When you say “...every person...is born heterosexual in that the person has the genitalia of one sex or the other” you are asserting that it’s something other than behavior that determines sexual orientation, namely the genitalia.

Recall your original question: Do you have to have sex with the opposite sex to be heterosexual, or are there heterosexual virgins out there? You said nothing about sexual orientation. Remember that the term sexual orientation is about feelings. Being heterosexual is about the presence of one type of genitalia versus another. No one except God can know how you, or anyone else feels about your genitalia unless you take some action. Therefore, it is possible to be a heterosexual virgin, but it is impossible to be a homosexual behavior practitioner who is a virgin.

…are you arguing that whether a virgin male is attracted to men or to women is a false dichotomy, and that you’d be equally happy to have either guy marry your daughter?

The reason I raised the issue of a false dichotomy is because you presented one, not I. In that spirit, I will answer your question thusly: I want a mentally and physically healthy, gainfully employed, committed Christian, man to marry my daughter.

Your reply?

I guess I partly don’t understand it because I’m not using it as a behavioral label. My dictionary defines the word “homosexual,” when used as a noun, as “a person, especially a man, who is sexually attracted to people of the same sex.” It doesn’t say anything about behavior. This is the definition that I think is most accepted by scholars and non-scholars alike today.

“No one except God can know how you, or anyone else feels about your genitalia unless you take some action.”

I think I understand what you’re saying here, but what if the action you take is to tell others about it, or to date other people of the same sex? Clearly, there is a difference between a young man who says “I have never been attracted to women, but I find men arousing,” and one who says “I have never been attracted to men, but I find women arousing.” I think you recognize this, which may be why you didn’t respond to my inquiry about your sheep comment. You asked the question, and I responded. Do you agree that there’s a difference between someone who is aroused by sheep and someone who is aroused by women?

Frankly, I fail to see the false dichotomy. Most research shows that the vast majority of young men find women (and only women) attractive, while a small minority of young men find men (and only men) attractive, and that there’s not much in the middle. Sounds pretty much like a dichotomy to me.