[LongElegantLegs]

“Uh, I was gently and sensitively removing his claw-like hand from my son’s leg when he slipped and fell against a protruding sink...eight or ten times.”

[JRandomFreeper]

That scenario actually worked for me, once, back in the '80s. Drunk airman p!$$ed in a chair in a barracks room we shared and I took him down to CQ. 3 flights of stairs. Halfway down, First-Shirt , headed up, asked what I was doing. I explained that I was escorting my drunk roommate down to CQ so the SP's could pick him up.

Top noticed the bruising, took a quick exit, and, on exiting, encouraged me to "Provide the airman to the CQ in suitable shape for later charges".

Airman was later charged.

I had to repaint the stairwell.

/johnny

[DeLaine]

Yes!!! elegant thinking too. :D