Job Listing:
President of the United States of America
This is an entry level position and requires minimal experience. You will preside over the most powerful nation on earth. As president, you will be responsible for both the foreign and domestic policies of the United States. You will be responsible for the security of the nation and command one of the most powerful military forces on the planet. You will negotiate treaties with foreign nations and often be called upon to meet with foreign leaders. This is a learn as you go position and inexperience is preferable.
The desirable candidate should be at least 40 years of age and a natural citizen of the United States. You should be young and hip in appearance, and have a charismatic personality. The ideal candidate embraces multicultural diversity and must have great abilities as an orator. It will be your job to motivate the nation with idealistic sounding but vacuous ideas to manipulate people on an emotional level. Preference will be given to Affirmative Action candidates. Old white men need not apply.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry...but I’ve read enough this morning to know I need to take a break.