The biggest problem with the military and gays is that once the military starts to socially engineer something, it goes 100% overboard. In some cases, like with racial integration, it was probably necessary. In other cases, like trying to convince people that a girl who does 30 push ups in two minutes is as fit (and as valuable in combat) as a guy who does 55, the military goes deep into make believe.
But you have to believe the party line and repeat the party line, or you'll never get promoted, and you'll never be a good Soldier.
Living in Baghdad, I get to watch a lot of AFN. Every other AFN commerical is mushy feel-good liberal talking point. I'm a live and let live guy, but I'm not really down with having to be brainwashed into the pro-gay agenda every time I go to the chow hall. The troops would get it worse, as they'd have mandatory meetings every quarter to explore gay issues, the same way the do with gender and race now.
The racial integration attempts have done a vast amount of good. The gender integration has done some good, insofar as the parts of it that are grounded in reality. Homosexual integration would probably turn off (so to speak) a lot of people who don't care if others are gay, but aren't looking to spend a career in a vocally pro-gay organization.
That last sentence is the key. If homosexuality is allowed in the military, it will have the media and legal authority of military behind it in full force. It will affect everything from promotions to punishment to what words troops are allowed to use.
I say keep the don’t ask, don’t tell. Uphold the fraternization rules and gays should be able to serve.