I wish I was wired like my husband, who wants it all the time. But I’m not. I never have that drive. It’s always a starting out cold thing and ‘warming up’, if you know what I mean. That’s where the chore mentality comes in. That’s where the ‘not wanting to’ comes in. ALL the women I’ve talked to about this are like this. They WANT to want to, but they naturally don’t.... and it’s a downer for everybody.
I know what you mean. Sometimes it was a cold to warming up thing for me. Mostly, it’s very easy to warm up but back then it took a lot.
Half the time, I’m the one initiating it all now.
When I was having, nursing and raising babies in the 90s, most of the time it was warming up and sometimes not even getting warmed up until it was actually happening. It was far down on my list of things to get done each day, so to speak.
So there was quite a few years when it wasn’t something I initiated or wanted until it got really into it.
Now, I want it almost all the time. The kids are more independent and not hanging on me. There was a time when I just didn’t want to be needed or wanted because I had all the needing I could take. When the kids were babies or toddlers the last thing on my mind was sex. Until I was having it then it was fun.
I want it now too so it’s easy for me. Like the way it was before the kids.