Cheat Neutral -- Cheating offsets for those who cheat on their spouse (like carbon credits)

Cheat Neutral ^

[LibWhacker]

What is Cheat Offsetting?

When you cheat on your partner you add to the heartbreak, pain and jealousy in the atmosphere.

Cheatneutral offsets your cheating by funding someone else to be faithful and NOT cheat. This neutralises the pain and unhappy emotion and leaves you with a clear conscience.

Can I offset all my cheating?

First you should look at ways of reducing your cheating. Once you've done this you can use Cheatneutral to offset the remaining, unavoidable cheating

[LibWhacker]

Or as one netwag described it:

CheatNeutral

Cheating on your mate can wreak horrific blight on the world -- despondence radiates, ravaging entire communities, and trust (a non-renewable resource) plummets permanently. But now, there's a way to mitigate your net cheating impact without altering your lifestyle: CheatNeutral.

CheatNeutralBritish innovator CN's new program lets anyone become a more responsible philanderer by purchasing Offset Certificates, which go to fund cheat-counteracting "monogamy projects" -- or what used to be called "just giving up". CN recommends you first attempt to reduce your own cheating, but when you can't stop ***ing everything under 80, you can buy redemption and harmony for about $5 per certif. CN'll channel these funds to non-cheaters -- those who pledge to remain monogamous/celibate, or "just plain single people" (who can't cheat, because nobody loves them enough to care) -- and both you and your partner can start serially scamming on each other again, this time blissfully free of carving-knife attacks, because the certificates make it cool.

If you're firmly entrenched as a non-cheater, or would be willing to accept small monetary payments to become one, sign up as a "project". Cash from Offset Certificates'll be distributed on a first-come, first-serve basis -- if you're chosen, just pray that CN quickly launches their next endeavor, LieNeutral.

Al Gore would be so proud.

[rabscuttle385]

Carbon credits are nought but modern-day indulgences for imaginary sins.

[Dilbert San Diego]

Carry the cheating credit a step further. I’ve heard somebody joke that there should be a tax on sex. And the reasoning there was, that some men especially, love to brag how much they are doing in this area. So, if they were really so active, shall we say, in that area, they would pay a higher tax than others.

Heck, I’m surprised there isn’t a tax on condoms to help pay for treatment of AIDS victims, or other so-called socially responisble government programs.

[ravingnutter]

CheatNeutral, huh. Well, here is my Neutralizer for a cheating spouse...

[Slapshot68]

I think we should institute Inanity Credits...I could make a killing from liberal idiocy.

[RC2]

We already have carbon credits for that at our house. But it’s called a double barreled shotgun.

[saganite]

Nice add. Is there any content available here?

[NRA2BFree]

CN recommends you first attempt to reduce your own cheating, but when you can't stop ***ing everything under 80, you can buy redemption and harmony for about $5 per certif.

Will, there ya go! Now we know where global warming came from! My ex-hubby, was by all accounts, a genuine whore dawg! He probably nailed those 80 year old women too. He single handedly created global warming. LOL!

[Boiling point]

One of the downfalls of this country is easy access to divorce. I had an idea that would make divorce less desirable and would put liberals at odds with themselves. Make divorce couples pay the government back all the tax advantage they received for being married, including child deduction. Liberals would be torn by the desire for more tax income and making divorce less accessible.

[LibWhacker]

I LOVE that idea, BP! Good thinking.

[Centurion2000]

Nice Smith and Wesson you got there.

[Doctor Raoul]

You’re evil, I’ve always admired you for that.

[Carley]

Obama needs massive offsets for lying.

[WesternPacific]

A version of this has been around for years. Everything from buying the pained spouse flowers to gifts. Remember Kobi Bryant bought his wife a gazillion dollar bracelet during his Rape Trial. Wouldn't this be considered a Cheat Neutral--Cheating offset?

[PugetSoundSoldier]

Make divorce couples pay the government back all the tax advantage they received for being married, including child deduction.

Then the Federal Government would be PAYING people to divorce. There's a tax PENALTY for being married, and if you're a single parent you still get the child deduction - it's not reserved for married couples.

Typical married couple pays $1100 per year more in taxes than if they were both single. For a 20 year marriage and 3% interest charge, that would be a $29,557 bonus to get divorced. Sounds like a good way to fund a 20 year anniversary AND marriage renewal/redo ceremony!

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

DON’T do that! i have to change shorts now!