Except when it's not . . . . . .
How does one explain me? My parents actively discouraged me from going to college and could have cared less about how any of us did in school as long as we did our chores. Not only that, I suffered various means of abuse that are not appropriate for discussion.
It was only at school and in books that I found peace - even though family members would yank books out of my hands and laugh at me for reading the same ones over and over. Why? I only had 4 - Heidi, Little Women, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and the Wizard of Oz. All books given to me by the people I adored more than anyone - teachers. I worshiped them because they were kind to a clumsy, ugly little duckling who just wanted to be noticed. I left home at 17 and never returned for more than a few days at a time. I stayed at college over the summers and if anyone at home cared, I never heard about it.
So, there you have it, it was only at school where I felt kindness, even though the schools were far from perfect. I still remembered being bullied in middle school and ostracized at times in high school, but I came to expect it. It was until I met my husband that I stepped on the path to healing.
So, in my case, it wasn't about parenting, it was about teachers - teachers that were more or less paid to like me. Good thing isn't it?
>> How does one explain me? My parents actively discouraged me from going to college and could have cared less about how any of us did in school as long as we did our chores. Not only that, I suffered various means of abuse that are not appropriate for discussion.
As with all generalizations, there are exceptions. You appear to be the exception that proves the rule. Congratulations to you on successfully overcoming.
I’m not a psychologist or sociologist — I cannot tell you why most kids with bad parents do poorly in school, but some persevere and succeed. Perhaps you have some personal fortitude that others do not. Perhaps you were divinely led. Perhaps a little of both.
>> So, in my case, it wasn’t about parenting, it was about teachers - teachers that were more or less paid to like me. Good thing isn’t it?
True enough.
H