A Cow, an Auto and Only in Texas

Texas Political Resource Page ^ | June 23, 2008 | George Strong

[pkajj]

Not much gossip this week, but I do have a great true story to tell:

Two weeks ago I was driving to Houston and took a short cut on TX 1985 a two lane highway that cuts through south Chambers County and takes you to I-10.

I was driving about 65 MPH when I saw a bunch of cows coming down the highway. Like 200 head of cattle with 5 cowboys on horses herding them. They took up the entire highway so I just stopped and put my car in park and waited for the cows and cowboys to reach me. They did and the cows just went around my car and this went on for about 10 minutes. Cows and Cows walking down the highway with cowboys keeping them moving.

I saw the last of the herd coming with the cowboys and I was happy as I would soon be on my way. But, just then I saw one cow jump on the back of another cow and try to be romantic (to put it nicely) and both cows were still walking along side of my auto. Then, the cow on top fell off the other cow and landed on my left front fender. I was surprised to say the least.

I waited for the cows to get by me and then I got out and looked at the damage. Yes the cow dented my fender. As I was contemplating what to do next the lead cowboy, the owner of the cows came over on his horse and swore a little and then told me not to worry he had insurance. Yes, his policy covers just this type of accident.

Two hours later I got the call from the Texas Farm Bureau and the paperwork started to get my car repaired.

I ask the owner of the cows if the cow (the one on top) was a bull and he said, ” No they are all cows that one must have been a lesbian”.

That is a true story, only in Texas.

[MosesKnows]

they will occasionally attempt to mount each other

This is not unusual among many animals; it is a matter of domination more than sex.

[SF Republican]

Bull would have about three barb wire fences around his neck LOL - I recall reading James Michners TEXAS - same thing, when the barb wire salesmen were coming around they would demonstrate by putting a fence around hay, no cows would go for the hay. But when the cows needed some action, the bulls would go straight through the fence.

[Hot Tabasco]

Here in Colorado they have short haircuts and tend to be very ugly and unhappy

Yea, cows..........

[tractorman]

My female Cocker Spaniel occasionally tries to mount my brother’s male Beagle.
Strange but funny.

[al_c]

But, just then I saw one cow jump on the back of another cow and try to be romantic

Cows? Must've been gay cows. Or else you had at least one bull in the mix.

[al_c]

I ask the owner of the cows if the cow (the one on top) was a bull and he said, ” No they are all cows that one must have been a lesbian”.

Guess I shoulda read the last line first, eh?

[al_c]

Now glaad will claim that 30% of cows are homos.

No, they'll claim it as proof that it's natural (God made, even) to be homo.

[M203M4]

A queer or a steer?

[NVDave]

When a cow comes into season, other cows will mount her.

There are “heat detection patches” that get mounted (glued, actually) at the very base of the spine (where the tail and spine meet). These patches rupture easily and when you’re getting ready to AI a cow herd, you run ‘em through the chute, you glue a patch onto every cow, then you check the pens ever 12 hours. You pull out all the cows that have ruptured heat detection patches, put them back into the chute and AI them, then kick them out into yet another pen (or pasture) for “settled” cattle.

There are far more high-tech instruments now than the rupture-patch too. There are electronic patches that count how many times a cow has been mounted in 12 hours. When you get to 3 or more, she’s really ready to be AI’ed.

But on western range cattle... eh, you have to keep expenses down. Patches are simple, they work.

Another way to deal with this is to position a kid with a paintball gun on the fence of a pen, and tell him to shoot every cow that gets mounted, every time she gets mounted. Sort out the cows with two or more paint marks at the end of the day, AI them. Makes for cheap entertainment for the kid, useful results for the rancher or dairyman.

[Comstock1]

If you look on a map you can see that the area he was driving on was very isolated. Locally the road is called White’s Ranch Road. So naturally...

[pkajj]

I can’t take credit for the story. This was posted by a local political commentator (active in Democrat politics for many years).

[Xenalyte]

Amorous lesbian cow ping!

[wbill]

32 posts, and not one single pic of Rosie O’Donnell. FR is falling down on the job.

[Bender2]

Re: ” No they are all cows that one must have been a lesbian”.

Or one of them... Yankee stumpbroke heifers that are ruining the whole Texas cow population!

[Ditter]

The cowboy was just joking. The cow was not a lesbian, this happens all the time when one of them is in heat. Typical cow behavior, has nothing to do with Texas either. The part about falling on your car is the unusual part.

[Eaker]

My nipples are killing me.

LOL!

[deport]

Interesting story. There are a few of these type drives left where they move the cattle from winter to summer grasses in the marsh areas......

Interestingly enough the Hwy 1985 is also known as Whites Ranch Road. So you may have spoken to the Road’s namesake.

[TheBattman]

There are a lot of cows here in Missouri, and they will occasionally attempt to mount each other (why, I have no idea). Carolyn

They got the idea from their recent visit on a "special" day at Disney....

[Varda]

A lot of animals use mounting to reinforce status, dominance and pecking order. It doesn’t have anything to do with sex.

[RichInOC]

“Moo!” [BANG!] “Mooo!”