Posted on 06/20/2008 8:51:44 AM PDT by Digital Disaster
June 20, 2008
Berkeley, California
This week the global edition of the New York Times ran an article titled "Michelle Obama to get subtle makeover." This in itself would normally not be a big deal, but it just so happens the consultant brought in to do this makeover is an old friend of mine, (Fabulous) Frankee Felaesho! I call Frankee (Fab) to get the inside poop on his Obama overhaul.
According to Fab, there were several areas the campaign staff wanted to address in response to negative public perceptions. He faxed me his Makeover Action Plan (MAP):
Perception: Michelle Obama hates white people
Remedy: Instruct Michelle to (1) start referring to white people as "white people" instead of "Nazis," "crackas," and "peckerheads" (2) quit spitting on white people (3) try to befriend a white person, at least socially.
Perception: Michelle Obama is ashamed of/hates the United States
Remedy: Teach her how to lie convincingly. (call Bill Clinton?)
Perception: Michelle Obama is an elitist
Remedy: Have Michelle Obama (1) visit a Wal-Mart at least once a month (notify press in advance!) (2) trade her stretch Lincoln limousine for a stretch Buick limousine.
Perception: Michelle Obama is always angry
Remedy: (1) Increase her (a) Prozac (b) dietary fiber (c) thong size. (2) Keep white people away from her whenever possible.
Perception: Michelle Obama comes across as "too black" for many white voters
Remedy: Discourage her from (1) wearing that bone in her nose at least in public (2) using profanity-laced Ebonics (3) calling everyone "Dawg."
MISCELLANEOUS: Change makeup (a few shades lighter maybe), hairstyle, and wardrobe (no tribal wraps/animal skins). Cover/conceal "Kill Whitey" tattoo.
________________________________________________
I liked the plan and congratulated Fab on another fabulous makeover. While he didn't know if the changes would be enough to sway public opinion, Fab was quick to compliment Mrs. Obama, saying that outside of the name-calling and spitting, she was "at times not a bad person."
We already knew Michelle would make a great First Lady, now she'll look and act the part.
She should also insert the comment: “Some of my best friends are typical white people”, into every possible conversation with anyone.
that ought to do it!
Remedy: (1) Increase her\thong size. (2)
Not that I’m complaining, but she wears the tightest clothes I’ve ever seen on a politician’s wife. She obviously spends hours and hours in the gym. I have made a study of this and I can say that yes, she wears a thong.
Interesting how they always have to “remake” these dimocRAT candidates and their wives.
Making a Marxist silk purse out of a sow’s ear? This thread is just what I needed today. Thanks!
“Perception: Michelle Obama comes across as “too black” for many white voters
Remedy: Discourage her from (1) wearing that bone in her nose at least in public “
Not funny. Very racist.
HA!
Left one out though:
She's gotta stop doing that knuckle-bump thing with B. Hussein in public!
((And yes, no.1 IS funny:"Racist" would be pretending that she's NOT African, but merely some melanin-rich caucasian...)
I didn’t like that one either.
Someone burn it into her pea brain that the worst black-American is not automatically better/smarter/cooler/morally superior/more exploited/more socially disadvantaged, etc. than the best white-American.
Left one out though:
She’s gotta stop doing that knuckle-bump thing with B. Hussein in public!
Make that two things left out. She needs to tell Barack Hussein to stop slapping her on her big fat ass in public settings. We’ve already had a horndog in chief embarrassing the office we don’t need another.
The other day when she walked up on the stage with her husband in that purple dress, my first thought was "What's Barney doing there???"
You’re right of course. I am so ashamed.
“You’re right of course. I am so ashamed.”
You should be!
Seriously, that posted on a conservative website only reinforces the stereotype that we are racist. I’m no racist, I dislike the Obamas for reasons that go well beyond their skin color.
“She obviously spends hours and hours in the gym.”
Maybe she should spend MORE hours in the gym to cure that foot in mouth problem.
That’s how white people will do ya.
The whole Michele makeover thing has got me cackling. "Let's make Michele look like a stereotype of what we think that white women will think is a safe negro." Hell, she still ain't no Jeanne Crain. Nobody asked her to look like anything. All she had to do was avoid sounding like a Radio Moscow broadcast from the 1950s.
I disagree with you. It IS funny! Michelle and Obama are the ones who started playing the race card, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes them both fair game.
“I disagree with you. It IS funny! Michelle and Obama are the ones who started playing the race card, and as far as I’m concerned, that makes them both fair game.”
Ok, we disagree. The other stuff is funny, the bone in the nose thing is over the top.
Me too.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.