I have this dream. I am a representative from Alabama at the Republican National Convention. I rise to my feet. “Ladies and Gentelemen, I rise to nominate the next President of the United States,” and I pause, “RUDY GULIANI”. The crowd goes wild, someone finds Guiliani, and the saviour of the Republican Party is carried around the convention center on the shoulders of ecstatic Republicans. Then I wake up to the voice of someone nominating John McCain and the sound of 10,000 whoopie cushions sounding off as one.