SIGNS SOMEONE IS AN OBAMA SUPPORTER
* Blank stare.
* Unable to communicate complex thoughts.
* Fits of excitement followed by bouts of depression with no noticeable causes.
* Easily distracted by anything that is shiny or new.
* Defines political beliefs with vague, trite phrases.
* Irrational risk taking with finances.
* Submissive urination.
* Stupidity.
* Hates crackers.
If you realize someone is an Obama supporter, make sure to give him or her a new, shiny red ball to play with on election day. The person may be so distracted by the ball, he’ll forget to vote, or become so enamored with the ball that’ll he’ll vote for the ball instead as a write-in.