I confess to having had some dark times as well, when thoughts of checking out started flitting among the cobwebs betwix’t my ears. But tossing myself into a wood chipper would NEVER have crossed my mind! Knowing me, I probably would have tried ODing on Altoids...
If he thought he was down in the dumps before, just wait til he recovers to find he’s now a mutilated AND depressed human being...
poor dumb guy..
Wash them down with Diet Coke.