Posted on 05/12/2008 7:14:24 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
DC Comics has just announced that it's sending its characters into the most terrifying parallel universe yet: the American political system. At a comic-con last week, the publisher's executive editor talked about its upcoming "DC Decisions" series, in which members of the DC universe will declare their partisan affiliations. "Everyones talking politics; its an elections year, and were going to try to see how the characters of our universe react to that," he said, which I think means that his writers have completely run out of material. So now that superheroes are going to start meddling in domestic politics, which way will they swing politically? A few guesses at some of the exciting partisan plot twists to come, after the jump.
Possible political revelations in "DC Decisions":
Superman: Illegal immigrant, journalist Plot twist: Uses super-duperdelegate powers to reverse time and rig the delegate-counting at the Democratic convention.
Batman: Aging, super-wealthy crime fighter Plot twist: Liked Giuliani, but now can't decide between McCain and former president Luthor.
Robin: "Ward" of aging, super-wealthy crime fighter Plot twist: Embarrassed when alternate-universe Obama is forced to declare that "Earth-Two Dick Grayson does not speak for me."
Wonder Woman: Broke the glass ceiling in her invisible jet. Plot twist: Once used her bracelets to deflect Bosnian sniper fire during a top-secret mission.
Plastic Man: Extremely flexible, perfect hair Plot twist: This early Mitt Romney backer may sit this one out.
Green Lantern: Cool ring gives him godlike powers Plot twist: Attacked on cable news after he says American flag lapel pins leave unsightly holes in his unitard.
Aquaman: Hangs out with fishes, probably suffering from mercury poisoning. Plot twist: Sending telepathic signals to get Al Gore to run.
Supergirl: Superman's cousin and occasional jailbait. Plot Twist: Retreats to the Fortress of Solitude after her "I've Got a Crush on Kucinich" video is leaked.
Rorschach: Creepy objectivist loner Plot twist: Being wooed by Ron Paul as a possible running mate.
All Paulite and DC fanboy hate mail in the comments, thanks!
Besides—Batman is a successful business man. Batman is a Conservative.
Now Lex Luthor is a Republican cut from the Nixon cloth. He would make a great running mate for McCain.
I think Clark Kent is a Democrat but Superman is an independent.
"Final question - How many people have rented from Netflix?"
I guess Robin would be a RINO sort of like Lincoln Chaffey?
Maybe Aunt Harriet was having the relationship with Alfred...just a thought.
Green Lantern would obviously be a member of . . . the Green Party.
Let's talk about a real hero:
- orphan; raised by aunt and uncle;
- inner-city urban catholic (witness crucifixes in Aunt May's bedroom;)
- despises mainstream media bosses for distorting photographic evidence a la Reuters/Al Jazeera;
- works several jobs;
- primary nemesis is Soviet-haircut-sporting evil professsor (Doctor Octopus was probably a lefty academic who would have signed on with the Duke 88.)
You just KNOW Spiderman is a conservative.
I don’t know what party the Flash is, but he’s always running.
Shazam!
The Flash is being Swift-booted.
.
Shaken
Not Stirred....
Ouch! I'm shielding my eyes!
If Doctor Octopus has tenure, you know he is a liberal. I am surprised no one has mentioned the real American hero G.I. Joe.
True, but the real measure of a woman is the Dyan Cannon factor:
Is she still hot after 55? Not so sure about Lynda Carter. But Jaclyn Smith and Cheryl Ladd...
Smokin'!
Lol, I knew injecting 007 into ‘super heros’ would get a response.
Somehow that doesn’t sound quite right!!
There have been several serious accidents on the latest Blond Bond set.
So are Bill Gates, Ben & Jerry and Dodi Fayed's father.
Book, Cover, all that...
This is the worst idea DC has had in a long, long time.
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