Don't call it "amnesty," dammit! As per the latest talking points handed down from on high at Team Juan Central, we're going to be defusing the entire issue, once and for all, by resolutely referring to... to... well, look; you know, all right?... as "slow, soft belly rubs," from now on.
Think how much easier it will be to sell gullible voters out there on the notion of transforming their own beloved country into just a big, sunny bedroom suburb of Mexico, once we start framing the debate our way from now on! "John McCain wants to give all illegal aliens amnesty" will, henceforth, become: "John McCain wants to give all illegal aliens amnesty slow, soft belly rubs!" It's genius, I tell you! Absolute GENIUS -- !!! ;)
Define amnesty.
Or what is your plan for dealing with illegals here - let’s compare/contrast your plan with the actual proposed legislation.
Man enough to try it?
1987 Flashback... to Reagan’s “Not an Amnesty” amnesty:
Starting in June, employers will have to ask all job applicants for documents to verify that they are either United States citizens or aliens authorized to work in this country.
Under the rules for the amnesty program, illegal aliens may be given a six-month work permit while the government reviews their applications for legal status. If an application is approved, the alien will receive a ``temporary resident card’’ authorizing employment in this country, as well as foreign travel.
Illegal aliens who do not apply or do not qualify for legal status could be deported.
The rules also include these provisions:
Illegal aliens applying for legal status must show that they have maintained ``continuous physical presence’’ in the United States since Nov. 6, 1986. An absence of 30 days or less is allowed if it was authorized by the Immigration and Naturalization Service for ``legitimate emergency or humanitarian purposes.’’
An alien who submits false documents or makes false statements in support of an application for legal status may be deported or prosecuted.
Illegal aliens will be ineligible for legal status if they have been convicted of a felony committed in any country, or three or more misdemeanors committed in the United States.
An illegal alien may not receive legal status if he appears likely to become a ``public charge.’’ Aliens may be asked for evidence to show whether they are ``self-supporting,’’ whether they have a ``history of employment’’ or whether they have been on welfare.
Male aliens 18 to 26 must register with the Selective Service System.
Illegal aliens who qualify for legal status will first become temporary residents. After 18 months in that status, they will have one year in which to apply for permanent residence. After five years as permanent residents, they may apply for citizenship.