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FR Abducted by Aliens
Vanity
| 4 May 08
| null and void
Posted on 05/04/2008 1:37:06 PM PDT by null and void
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To: Lancey Howard
Was it a painful disenvowelment?
61
posted on
05/04/2008 3:17:27 PM PDT
by
Petronski
(When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth, voting for Hillary.)
To: sarasota
My freepmail wont let me delete messages.That's cuz I'm not done reading them!
:)
62
posted on
05/04/2008 3:37:21 PM PDT
by
Brad’s Gramma
(Vote for my German Shepherds!!!! They're smarter than what's running!!)
To: null and void
May I have your attention...
look right here...
To: Grizzled Bear; camle; Alkhin; Professional Engineer; katana; Mr. Silverback; MadIvan; ...
RIMMER: (Snaps his fingers) Aliens!
LISTER: Oh god, aliens? Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it? You lose your keys -- it's aliens. A picture falls off the wall -- it's aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day -- you thought that was aliens as well.
RIMMER: Well we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?
LISTER: Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?
RIMMER: Just 'cause they're aliens doesn't mean to say the don't have to visit the little boys' room. Only they probably do something weird and alienesque like it comes out of the top of their heads or something.
LISTER: Well I wouldn't like to be stuck behind one in a cinema.
64
posted on
05/04/2008 3:55:11 PM PDT
by
null and void
(No man's life, liberty or property are safe as long as court is in session...)
To: null and void
RIMMER: Aliens!
LISTER: What?
CAT: What are you talking about, grease stain?
RIMMER: It's a well documented phenomenon. They kidnap you, give you a mind probe, erase your memory, and put you back.
LISTER: OK, aliens came aboard.
RIMMER: Without question.
LISTER: They broke my leg.
RIMMER: For some reason.
CAT: They broke MY leg.
RIMMER: Right.
HOLLY: And then they did a jigsaw.
RIMMER: Right.
HOLLY: Well, that's cleared that up then.
RIMMER: Look, you're not thinking alien. That's what aliens are: alien. They do alien things. Things that are... (shrugs) alien. Maybe this is the way they communicate.
CAT: By breaking legs?
LISTER: And doing jigsaws?
RIMMER: Why should they speak the way we do? They're aliens.
LISTER: OK, professor, what does it mean?
RIMMER: Maybe, maybe, OK? Breaking your leg hurts like hell, OK? "Hel." They do it below the knee, "lo." "Hel-lo," gettit? They do it twice -- twice, "two." "Hello two." And the jigsaw must mean "you." "Hello to you."
CAT: I wouldn't like to be around when one of these suckers is making a speech! (He limps out.)
65
posted on
05/04/2008 4:04:11 PM PDT
by
null and void
(No man's life, liberty or property are safe as long as court is in session...)
To: null and void
Man, all those really great posts I made earlier left with them on the mother ship.
No one will ever know how clever they were, except for the aliens, of course. /s
66
posted on
05/04/2008 4:05:54 PM PDT
by
dforest
(McCain is to Conservatives like Kryptonite is to Superman.)
To: null and void
67
posted on
05/04/2008 4:06:44 PM PDT
by
VOA
To: VOA
68
posted on
05/04/2008 4:16:04 PM PDT
by
null and void
(No man's life, liberty or property are safe as long as court is in session...)
To: Marcella; Lady Jag; null and void
You guys need to stop making me scared. My husband is not here for protection so Ive got the door locked. I dont know where my tin foil hat is, so I found an oil funnel and put that on my head. I have a conservative thick skull so that should help. Do you think Im safe?You have tin foil in the basement. Wrap it around the funnel, draping it around the sides.
Chew a few pieces of gum, and when softened, plug the top of funnel with the gum. Cover the top of the funnel with more tin foil.
Let us know when the aliens are gone, and set up an automatic e-mail to let us know if this solution fails.
Thanks.
69
posted on
05/04/2008 4:25:45 PM PDT
by
fanfan
("We don't start fights my friends, but we finish them, and never leave until our work is done."PMSH)
To: null and void
They are envious of our well-endowed inalienable rights.
To: xtinct
71
posted on
05/04/2008 10:22:07 PM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(McRINO makes me wanna reach across the aisle, too. And SLAP some sense into the fools !!)
To: Quix
72
posted on
05/05/2008 8:49:50 AM PDT
by
Joya
(Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior, have mercy on me, a sinner!)
To: Dr. Bogus Pachysandra
Thank you Dr Bogus. Not only did the ‘probe’ disappear but you’ve also cleared up my acne!!
73
posted on
05/05/2008 9:07:48 AM PDT
by
bpjam
(Drill For Oil or Lose Your Job!! Vote Nov 3, 2008)
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