I don’t know if the column I mentioned from yesterday’s
Herald ever made it online (been known to happen—never makes it to the site), but here’s a special column in today’s paper.
This gangsters fat in the fire
By Howie Carr | Thursday, May 8, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com
For the FBI, bringing down the Cheeseman was like shooting fish in a barrel.
A very, very fat fish, that is. He weighs 400 pounds, this don of doughnuts, this king of the mozzarella mob. And Carmen DiNunzio cant keep his bleepin mouth shut, any more than he can keep his pants from falling down around his 66-inch waist.
Yesterday, the feds released more information about the arrest of the 50-year-old moron formerly known as the Big Cheese, now the Cheeseman. And you can stick a fork in the Boston Mafia, because its all done.
As we pick up the story, Mr. Cheese is trying to muscle in on the very lucrative dirt racket in the city of Boston. The capo of capicola was scheming to sell dirt to the Big Dig. Go figure.
Of all the mistakes the Cheeseman made in this sad caper, the one I cant get over occurred last Friday morning. Hed just been lugged, and as he sat around FBI headquarters, he began yapping about the family business.
I called up a retired wiseguy I know and read to him the 302 report on the Cheesemans revelations. The guy listened in silence until after I came to the final sentence.
DINUNZIO advised that he believes that narcotics are ruining society.
What is he, a bleepin philosopher now? my source said. Doesnt he understand everything he says will be used against him?
But the G-men released even better material yesterday. They bugged conversations of his attempt to bribe a state hack. Thats right, you heard me - the Big Cheese wasnt shaking someone down, he was delivering money to a guy he thought was a Mass. Highway Department inspector, for the privilege of dealing, not drugs, but dirt.
Only problem was, this corrupt hack was actually an undercover FBI agent. The third guy, the go-between, has been flipped.
You know how you learn in Mafia 101, never give your real name. The conversation begins with the rat introducing DiNunzio: This is my friend, Carmen.
The Cheeseman starts talking to the wired rat and the fed about what he was going to do to this trucker, Andrew Marino.
I was gonna throw this bleeping kid off a roof, he says.
First, Cheeseman, youd have to run him down and catch him. And even if he were in a wheelchair, or even an iron lung, in a race against you, my moneyd be on Marino.
The FBI hack then tells DiNunzio that what I need is a guarantee that somebodys got their foot on Marinos neck.
Listen to me, growls the gross gangster, right here you got the guarantee from here.
The fed is warming to his role. He is staring at 400 pounds of you-know-what stuffed in the sweatsuit of a 200-pound man.
I dont know you, says the fed.
Im the Cheeseman.
Youre . . . the Cheeseman? The fed deserves an Oscar for keeping a straight face as he says that. Back to you, Fromage-man.
We straighten out a lot of beefs.
And they eat even more of them. But by God.
If they had 100 million dollars - and Im talking out of school here. They better leave town. Cause it aint gonna be safe nowhere for them.
Yeah, they cross the Cheeseman, hell sit on them.
If the check aint there then Im going to the bleeping can -
Yes, you are, Mr. Cheese. For a good long time, too.
Next, he starts stealing lines from The Godfather.
If I can help you down the line. Im not saying I can, but sometimes I could help you probably more than I could help myself or somebody in my own family because Im, ah ...
Because youre the Cheeseman!
Somewhere in Nahant, Gennaro Angiulo is weeping. Somewhere in Europe, Whitey Bulger is laughing.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1092600
Well, if he was in school, or he would know that $100 million can't buy a high school any more. It takes at least $200 million...