Iowahawk: Advice for the Lovelorn

Iowahawk | 04/29/2008 | David Burge

[dighton]

Advice for the Lovelorn

Dear Barry:

I’ve been married to the same wonderful man -- Let’s call him “Jeremiah” -- for 20 years. He’s a great provider and we live in a beautiful home. He dotes on me and treats me like a queen; even after twenty years he still brings me little gifts and opens doors for me. Best yet, our sex life is fantastic!  Jeremiah enjoys spicing things up with role-play, such as “Adolf and Eva,” and we host weekly swinger get-togethers for like-minded couples. I know it probably must sound kind of kinky, but trust me - it keeps things interesting in “the boudoir.”

That’s where the trouble comes in. Lately it’s been hard for Jeremiah to step out of his bedroom character, even when we have company over. For example, the other night I was hosting bunco night for the neighborhood girls and Jeremiah came goose-stepping into the rec room in his black leather swastika thong and riding crop, screaming “Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer!!”

Continued . . .

[Lead Moderator]

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[Billthedrill]

(Sniff!) I love a good lonely hearts column! Don’t consider him a two-bit tinpot Windy City shyster phony! Consider him the victim of a 20-year abusive relationship. He just needs to meet the Right Woman - someone, say, with a set of jackboots and a whip of her own. Someone with a no-account lout of her own to contend with who secretly longs for that little romantic tryst in Fort Marcy Park. I can hear the champagne bottles popping. At least I think that’s what that was...