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Marzilli facing reps’ usual rap
By Howie Carr | Wednesday, April 9, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com

Sen. Jim Marzilli must not have attended the orientation classes for new members of the Senate.

The rule is, House members are the ones who are supposed to be accused of assaulting women.

Senators generally get lugged for something a little more white-collar, like attempted extortion.

But now look what’s happened. Jim Marzilli, a moonbat’s moonbat, has been accused of indecent assault and battery on an acquaintance he accompanied to “a local arts event” on Saturday night.

Ah, the old “local arts event” . . . how Arlington is it? And he probably still wonders why he got crushed in Billerica when he was elected to the Senate last winter.

It could have been worse, though - Marzilli could have been charged with impersonating a Kennedy. And speaking of Kennedys, Senator, when you’re accused of this sort of thing, do you really want to have a lawyer named Kennedy speaking for you?

Marzilli has been reeling for a while this year. He got a real jolt in that special Senate election when he had to campaign in places like Billerica and Burlington - you know, places where people don’t have trust funds, and actually have to work for a living. North of 128, he found himself in an unknown land, terra incognita if you will. It’s called America.

Then, another shock to Marzilli’s fragile system. Hillary Clinton narrowly carried Arlington on Super Tuesday over Barack. Talk about a stunner - Arlington is mostly moonbats whose trust funds didn’t allow them to buy the traditional $1.6 million single-family in Cambridge. But nowadays even moonbats are in total consternation over the property tax rates in Arlington, and the fact that Town Hall does not offer abatements to Beautiful People who have “Darfur - Not on Our Watch” signs in their front yards.

And now Marzilli, with his squirrelly little goatee, gets tagged with the sort of rap usually associated with solons from Waltham or Worcester. On Mass. Ave., as fat women with no makeup knit and their men braid unwashed gray hair, the moonbats are whispering that they always suspected something was a little off with Marzilli, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on it.

Now they know what the problem is. He’s a heterosexual.

Say what you will about moonbats, they’re not usually accused of sexual assault. The prescription meds have dampened their libidos. The sex drive is replaced by the blogging drive.

Did you get a bad ice cube, Senator? Lawyer Kennedy says his client will be acquitted, and maybe he will be. Convicted drunk-driving cross-dressing Judge Robert Somma doesn’t see any reason why the fact that he rear-ended a truck on the main drag of the Queen City - Manchester, N.H. - should cost him his $158,000-a-year-for-life job.

Naturally, Marzilli won’t resign. They never do. They have no shame. One of his big issues is “global climate change.” I’m guessing he’s undergoing some very big climate change around his home, mostly cooling. He’s married to Susan Shaer, not just another pretty face as they say. She’s cooking every night for him, I’m sure - hot tongue and cold shoulder.

This beef should really put him in tight with that 30 percent of the Senate that is female. But maybe they’ll understand that Marzilli just spent too much time in the House of Representatives - 17 years. All those years with no opposition - DiMasi’s three-watt bulbs tend to get sloppy.

But even the dolts in the Legislature take some precautions. Usually, House members try to restrict their tomcattin’ to the State House. It’s like Vegas - what happens on Beacon Hill stays on Beacon Hill. You can touch everything but the third rail in Boston, but when you go home to “the district,” you keep your nose clean. It’s OK to put your State House girlfriend on the payroll, as long as it’s somebody else’s payroll. Then you hire the girlfriend of the guy who hired your galpal.

Sometimes mistakes are made, as Bill Clinton would say. One chairman ended up in the jail where his wife worked. One high-ranking member of leadership still lists his address as a post-office box, just because his favorite country song became “Livin’ Here, Lovin’ There, Lyin’ In Between.”

Try not to let this destroy your faith in the integrity of the Massachusetts state Senate.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1085951