“Dammit, now who is going to tell me how to get vomit out of my keyboard???”
You should do like I do — place a trashcan between your legs and, when things go really bad, push off backwards on your chair, bend your body forward and do what comes naturally. Hope that you don’t soil your pant legs and have a Kleenex handy. These are terrible times, my friend.
“Vote for the Candidate who will do the least damage to our country”
How the heck am I supposed to know who that is? I don’t have a three sided coin!