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> If Magdi Allam would have converted to (snip!)

History tells us how to deal with such a situation as this. My favorite antient historian is Herodotus, a secular writer who wrote of events in and around the middle east and the Mediterranean long ago.

Reading from his Lost Histories, starting at Book 77.1:

77.1 It being clear that the boring nuisance had paid no attention to the words of Hippocleides lo, his wrath was stirred in his loins mightily.

77.2 But, as he remained in polite company and, as there was a merrie band of minstrels playing in celebration of this great day of religious celebration, Hippoleides opted to give no further occasion to the bore by religious argument, but rather to rejoin the merriment.

77.3 And so it was that Hippocleides son of Nestor did lie on his back on a table and, plugging both ears with his fingers and kicking his legs inanely in the air, did spin round and round in time to the musick, and did begin the first few of the many thousands of verses of the "I Don't Care" Ode.

77.4 Well did the son of Nestor know that the "I Don't Care" Ode is not to be sung, save only for marauding bands of wandering Jehovah Witness druids, or chanting hordes of Code Pink cultees who doth protest too much, or flatulent bores at otherwise-congenial cocktail parties.

77.5 Passed on from father to son by secret means since the Great Pyramid was first laid by his Freemason ancestors, the Ode was the last refuge of all men of goodwill, when all other attempts at civility and reason had failed and the field of logick was in need of abandonment.

77.6 And, having first warned the Bore that "Hippocleides cares not!", so it was that mighty Hippocleides son of Nestor did raise his voice in song and did recite the Ode, a few verses of which are reproduced below:

CHORUS:
LA LA LA
LA LA LA
LA LA LA
LA LA LA

I DON'T CARE
I DON'T CARE
IF YOU'RE WEARING
UNDERWEAR
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

I DON'T CARE
DON'T YOU SEE
YOUR WORDS DO NOT
BOTHER ME
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

I DON'T CARE
GLAD YOU ASKED
I DON'T GIVE A
BL--DY BLAST
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

I DON'T CARE
NO ONE DOES
WHEN YOU TALK I
HEAR A BUZZ
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

I DON'T CARE
NOT ONE BIT
i JUST DO NOT
GIVE A @%$!
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

I DON'T CARE
IT IS MOOT
I JUST DO NOT
CARE ONE HOOT
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU SAY
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO AWAY
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

I AM RIGHT
YOU ARE WRONG
THAT IS WHY YOU
GET THIS SONG
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

YOU STILL HERE?
B*GGER ME!
YOU DON'T GET IT
OBVIOUSLY
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

AIN'T YOU LEFT?
CRIKEY MATE
I CAN GO ON
'TIL IT'S LATE
'COS I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

STILL NOT GONE?
'STREWTH 'TIS TRUE!
DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH YOU
AND I DON'T CARE

CHORUS

YOU'RE A BORE
YOU'RE A CHORE
TALK SOME MORE
'TIL YOUR THROAT GETS SORE
AND I WON'T CARE
CHORUS

WHY DON'T YOU
BOIL YOUR HEAD
THANKS FOR HI-JACK
-KING THIS THREAD
I STILL DON'T CARE

CHORUS

(Translator's note: according to legend the words of Hippocleides son of Nestor did continue along these lines for six days and seven nights, during which time the bore did try, on many occasions, to re-insinuate himself into discourse. But cunning Hippocleides did know that eventually even the most accomplished bore doth, too, himself get bored eventually, and so did he continue even unto the beginning of the seventh day.

The Board of Editors, for the sake of brevity in this the Abridged Edition of the Lost Histories, has decided that, as the full text is merely of interest to a very few number of Scholars, it would be prudent to end this, the 77th book, at this point: noting for the reader's attention that the words of Hippocleides continued along these lines for many days.

For a complete examination of all the words to the "I Don't Care" Ode, refer Anderson, MacDonnel, Cawston and Pulaski, "I Don't Care Ode, a Definitive Work", Volumes I-MCXLDVII, Vatican Library Press)