Obama campaign up $20M over Clinton

Barack Obama is just slightly ahead of Hillary Clinton in the race for the nomination - but he's blowing her out of the water in the dash for campaign cash.

Obama ended February with roughly $20 million more in the bank than Clinton, who was running perilously low on critical primary-election funds, recently released federal fund-raising records show.

Last month, Clinton raised $35 million for her White House bid, marking her best fund-raising period yet. But the records show Clinton ended February with very little remaining money.

According to the filings, Clinton had $33 million in the bank on Feb. 29, but nearly two-thirds of her war chest can be used only for the general election. With nearly $9 million in debt, she was less than $3 million in the black.

By comparison, Obama's campaign account is a portrait of strength. He raised $54.4 million last month, a record for any presidential contender in history.

He had nearly $39 million in the bank, with the lion's share of that total - more than $31 million - available for the primary. He listed just $625,000 in debt.

Obama spent roughly $1.5 million a day in February, but the investment appeared to pay off - he racked up 10 consecutive wins against Clinton that month, building a small but significant lead.

Citing the bank account imbalance, Bill Clinton dispatched e-mails to supporters pleading for donations. He stressed the financial imbalance between the campaigns, suggesting Obama will try to outspend his wife by 3 to 1 on ads heading into the April 22 Pennsylvania primary.

"We cannot let them have that advantage," Bill Clinton pleaded. "Hillary needs your help now to level the playing field in Pennsylvania and beyond. You can make a difference today with a contribution of as little as $5. If you haven't donated yet online, now is the time."

As your future president I want to thank voters of all political stripes for their mindless support, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor’s ties with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, and my blatantly liberal voting record while I present myself as some sort of bipartisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush’s youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political chicanery.

I would also like to thank the Kennedys for coming out in support of me. There’s a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King Jr., they both slept with Marilyn, and Teddy’s negligence caused the death of a young girl. I’m not going anywhere near the Kennedy cousins, especially Michael Skakel.

And I’d like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. White people who vote for me get some relief from their racist guilt.

I say things that sound meaningful but don’t really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think.

Americans are tired of thinking. It’s time to shut down the brain and open up the heart.

So when you go to vote in the primaries, remember don’t think, just do. And do it for me.

Thanking you in advance.
Barack

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