You are both very, very wise. It doesn’t help that I’ve been successful in the past year losing and keeping off the weight that so many ladies experience after menopause.
I wish she would go to my doctor. Bio-identical hormones are the answer. And the extra weight is bad for her. She’s already had a heart attack.
-——When I went on ‘regular’ HRT at 29 I gained 40 pounds in 6 months, and nothing change (yes, that was my epiphany and made me a more compassionate RD)that is when I learned a lot about metabolism, hormones and well..... BioID HRT worked for me too-— my weight will always be ‘high’ mostly due to my wonderful Austrian Peasant Baby Factory Genetics ;)
The biggest thing anyone needs to do is take care of themselves and mostly, accept themselves—— not hold themselves up to an unrealistic standard. And if you’re healthy size 14, stay the hell away from anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself.
I'm sorry to hear that your friend is in such poor health, but that may be the one place that she can start on the road back. Perhaps small efforts,like walking short distances, are the way for her to start, although with her history of heart problems she needs to see her doctor first.
It's difficult, if not close to impossible to make changes in one's life when one is feeling unwell.