[banjo joe]

Some wives also grant or deny sex as a system of reward and punishment, obviating other dynamics in the marriage.

The principle at work, whether or not explicitly understood or acknowledged is: “If I can give pleasure, I can withhold pleasure”.

Base manipulation.

Cheating on the marriage vows is immoral, but then cheating on those vows sometimes happens in very subtle ways, creating a “victim”.

And no, I do not hold a LCSW certification, nor have played one on TV.

[Slapshot68]

“Some wives also grant or deny sex as a system of reward and punishment”

It’s important to determine this practice BEFORE saying, “I do.” lol

[ASA Vet]

Some wives also grant or deny sex as a system of reward and punishment

Had one of those. That's much of the reason she's been an Ex for almost ten years.

[rintense]

You are so right. I know someone who basically had another baby to keep her husband, and almost died as a result. Now she uses that as a way to get whatever she wants (and a way to garner attention). He, realizing how much he loves her after her near-death whatever, is obliging her in every way he can. Oh, and by the way, she and the 'save the marriage' child do not get along. I wonder why?

There's no denying women CAN be manipulative in a marriage. But does it justify cheating? I think a good kick to the curb is better than fooling around.

[ninonitti]

The principle at work, whether or not explicitly understood or acknowledged is: “If I can give pleasure, I can withhold pleasure”. Base manipulation.

Sex becomes a "management tool" in the hands of the controlling spouse....a form of emotional violence practiced in many so "loving" relationships.