I did not belittle my ex husband. I did not deny him sex. He needed constant attention and I gave it to him. I stroked his ego, I lost 125 pounds, I never so much as looked at another man. My ex husband worked hard. He wanted me at home and that's where I stayed. I made sure he had a home cooked meal every night (he picked out our menus.) My world revolved around my husband.
My ex could not give me a valid reason as to why he had a 2 year affair with another woman. He tried to think of excuses and they were pathetic. To give you a glimpse, one of the excuses he came up with is that he found out I dated a African American when I was in high school. After that, he just couldn't look at me the same. What? I dated an African American 10 years prior and he was prejudiced so he had an affair?
The wounds are still there. I was in complete shock when I found out about the affair and 4 years later I ask myself “Why? What did I do or neglect to do that he had to pursue this relationship?” I just don't see how I am to blame for his behavior. How am I to blame for that fact that he brought his girlfriend home to have sex in our bed when I was doing volunteer work for the school? How am I to blame for our 8 year old daughter knowing about daddy's girlfriend before mommy did (he talked on the phone with her all of the time in front of our daugther)?
There are selfish Men AND women who have affairs that cannot be justified as “They aren't getting what they need at home.” There is such a thing as serial cheaters. No matter how good they have it at home the grass is always greener on the other side.
Please read what I wrote: “SOME women bear PART of the blame when their husbands stray.”
I never said in “all” cases. Some, not all.
I’m sorry for your loss and for what appears to be a sad excuse for a man.
Oh, one last thing. I saw your pictures on your website. You’re very attractive, both now, AND when you were overweight. I’m sorry your ex-husband couldn’t see that.
Regardless, congratulations on your current hubby and hope life is good for you and your family.
Some men are just scum. Your ex was obviously one of them. With your attitude, you will likely find the kind of man you deserve. Just make sure you get an emotionally healthy one.