I'm sorry, the decision to commit adultery is that person's alone. The idea that if you are not the perfect spouse that means that the other spouse is entitled or less wrong for having sex with prostitutes is ridiculous. How many married people did everything 100% right all of the time? How many perfect people are there? When you take your vows, it is for better or worse. As a Christian, I believe that vows made between spouses are also made to God- what did He do to drive a spouse to adultery?
>>I’m sorry, the decision to commit adultery is that person’s alone.<<
Won’t get any argument from you there.
Just remember though - there is only one man I know of that is perfect. The rest may respond “badly” to how they are treated by their spouse and how their needs are met. And these needs are clearly outlined in the bible and the bible clearly states who is OBLIGATED to meet those needs.
Imagine if the bible says you are only to eat food prepared by your spouse, and then your spouse decides that you didn’t take out the trash soon enough or didn’t get her enough jewelry so she decided not to feed you for a couple of weeks.
And yest, sex IS like food to human beings. It is a physical AND emotional need. And there is a reason God made women capable of it even when they are not “in the mood”.
But for me, I am really glad I and Mrs. Robroy are not in the predicament in which so many americans find themselves.
I can tell you with utmost confidence that we agree on this: If a woman is refusing to have sex with her husband at a reasonable frequency (say, two to three times a week), she should not be surprised if he chooses to “eat out”.
And, to make this clear - whether a person loves their spouse or not is TOTALLY their responsibility. Everyone is loveable and hatable. When you marry someone, you choose to love them, no matter what.
If you choose not to love a person, no matter who that person is, you can find plenty of reasons for not loving them. The reverse is also true.
Fidelity takes many forms and carries much responsibility. A spouse that decides to be celibate is not being faithful either.
The issue is not whether a bad spouse lessons the guilt of the person committing adultery (they don't), its whether they bare additional blame themselves. And they most certainly can.
To provoke bad behavior is also a sin.
Your point I believe is that we should not assume someone was provoked in order to excuse their behavior. I agree. But if you want to decrease that type of bad behavior in the future, it sure helps to recognize provocation.