Avoiding Conflicts, the Too-Nice Boss Makes Matters Worse

Wall Street Journal Online via Yahoo ^ | Saturday, March 1, 2008 | Jared Sandberg

[BenLurkin]

Lowrie Beacham didn't like confronting people or making decisions that favored one staffer over another, including the time two of his people were vying to be in charge of the new fitness center.

"Instead of having one bad day and getting over it, it went on for literally years," he recalls. "You just kick the can a little farther down the road -- 'Let's have a meeting on this next month' -- anything you can try to keep from having that confrontation."

[VOA]

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[lesser_satan]

He concedes that his handling didn't help the employee improve. He also says that the management training he received from the company didn't teach him how to deal with such conflict. "It would have been helpful," he says.

He needs training to to figure this out? This is common sense stuff. If you can't figure it out you have zero leadership potential and all the training in the world won't help. WTF, do they just hand out management positions to anybody nowadays?

[JennysCool]

Lowrie Beacham didn't like confronting people or making decisions that favored one staffer over another, including the time two of his people were vying to be in charge of the new fitness center.

Nearly all the conflicts where I work are catfights between female employees who (a) think their co-worker is getting more attention or money or whatever, and/or (b) are airing their personal disputes in the workplace.

What male manager in his right mind would want to get in the middle of that?

[NoControllingLegalAuthority]

I cannot recommend too highly the book, "The 33 Strategies of War," by Robert Greene. In this book, Greene talks about how today's politically correct society has created people completely unprepared and averse to conflict.

Our society has tried to teach there is always middle ground and we can all get along. Idiots are trying to tell us conflicts are a thing of the past when, in fact, war is alive and vigorous everywhere we turn in our daily lives and throughout the world at large.

The ridiculous plea to "Give Peace a Chance" does not apply to sociopaths and chronic trouble-makers.

This nonsense has simply made many people ill-equipped to deal decisively with their enemies.

Some people have to be mercilessly defeated and destroyed or they will destroy us.

He correctly states that conflict is an inevitable aspect of life and the sooner we realize it and learn its strategies, the better off we will be.

What is most amazing about this book is how Greene takes the strategies of the famous generals of history and relates them to our everyday lives - YES, OUR PERSONAL AND BUSINESS LIVES!.

Our lives are always going to bring us into conflict. We have to be equipped to know how to deal with it.

[Sarajevo]

This is common sense stuff. If you can't figure it out you have zero leadership potential and all the training in the world won't help. WTF, do they just hand out management positions to anybody nowadays?

You've nailed the answer in your question. There is no comparison between a leader and a manager.

[GeneralisimoFranciscoFranco]

Q: When is then right time to fire someone


A: The first time it occurs to you.

[napscoordinator]

I have women and men who work for me. I find both sexes pretty easy to deal with. The women want to be treated like people and not porcelain dolls and the guys want to see that the women do their part. I use the gold star program which they all get a kick out of and always try to beat the others out on a daily basis. I give gold stars for good behavior and work ethic and I take away stars for those who do not do well that day. It is really fun when I get them together at the end of the day and announce who got what. The stars can be redeemed for time off or special activity or something like that. Yes these are all adults (in their late 20's). lol. I will say that I have the highest morale in the command! FREEPERS you should try this. I have never had any issues like sexual harassment, EO, or anything like this in my entire 20+ years.

[BenLurkin]

I’ll look for that book.

But though we have a few employees that sometimes seem to need to be “mercilessly destroyed” I’d really be happy of they would just start following the office rules.