When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes ever.
Itunes pays chuck Norris 99 cents to listen to music.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.
Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one stone.
Chuck Norris' right hand beats a royal flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make him drink.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris is why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris HAS beaten all the odds, and the evens too.
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight and the knife lost.
You know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors, because Chuck Norris doesn't like fudge ripple.
There is no such thing as "Global Warming", Chuck Norris was just cold so he turned the Sun up.