Howie column ping
Difference between Dem and ... Dem
By Howie Carr | Sunday, March 9, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com
It really is a civil war in the Democratic party now. The party is rent between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, between hacks and moonbats, between those who work with their hands and those who don’t work, period.
The battle, as The Economist magazine put it, pits Barack’s wine-sippers against Hillary’s beer-guzzlers. Oddly, they’re all liberals, but there are so many stark contrasts between the two wings of the party that they’re tearing each other asunder.
Barack’s voters are New Age. Hillary’s voters . . . old age.
At their respective rallies, Hillary’s voters shout, while Barack’s swoon.
Hillary voters get their coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. Barack’s are strictly Starbucks.
If Hillary wins, her supporters are hoping for a job. Barack’s will be looking for a grant.
Clinton voters know who caused 9/11 - Arab terrorists. Obama voters know who caused 9/11 - Halliburton.
Hillary’s supporters are more or less for gay rights. Obama’s insist on transgendered rights.
Obama aides call Hillary a “monster.” Hillary aides call Obama “Ken Starr” - their definition of a monster.
Hillary’s hens drive SUVs. Obama’s peeps drive Priuses (with bicycle racks on the roof).
A lot of Hillary’s voters rely on oxygen. Barack’s rely on Oxys.
If they’re out and about in the woods in the winter, Clinton voters are riding snowmobiles. Obama’s are cross-country skiing.
Hillary at least has a few backers who like to fish. If Obama has any anglers, they’re fly fishermen, and they believe totally in “catch and release” . . . in other words, they have the same philosophy about fish that they have about violent criminals.
Eating fish? Hillary’s crew goes to Red Lobster. Barack’s people prefer sushi.
Hillary’s people are out on workers comp. Barack’s people are out on trust funds.
“It is a battle over culture,” The Economist said. “Mrs. Clinton’s supporters look at Mr. Obama’s and see latte-drinking elitists. Mr. Obama’s supporters look at Mrs. Clinton’s and smell all sorts of ancestral sins, not least racism. The two groups neither like nor respect each other.”
You saw it in the Democratic primary here last month. The split between the two candidates even came down to the way they pronounced the name of the state. Hillary, who lived here four years, pronounces it the way we do. “Massachusetts.” Barack Obama, who spent seven fun-filled years at Harvard, calls it “Massa-tu-setts.”
Hillary won Massachusetts going away. She snagged working-class Waltham; chi-chi Weston next door went heavily for Barack. The town of Watertown, split down the middle between blue and white collars, split down the middle between the candidates.
On the South Coast, Geraldo Rivera’s summer home of Marion, Massa-tu-setts came through big for Obama. Freeport, where they still begin most civic gatherings with the pledge of allegiance, is Hillary country.
Ironic, isn’t it? Once it was the Clintons who were the insurgents, the draft-dodging, pot-smoking, partial birth abortion-backing Ivy League limousine libs. Now, compared to Barack Obama’s radical-chic comrades, Bill ’n’ Hill look like refugees from the local Tuesday-night candlepin-bowling league in Billerica.
Hillary Clinton just loathed the military. Michelle Obama, an entitled elitist from Princeton and Harvard Law, hates the whole damn country.
Hillary supporters still listen to NPR. Barack voters play their iPods.
On the water, Obama voters use kayaks. Clinton supporters prefer powerboats.
Hillary vs. Barack - it’s the difference between civil unions and gay marriage, between Social Security and SSI, between football and soccer. It’s Sal DiMasi vs. Deval Patrick. It’s Ed King vs. Mike Dukakis.
Hillary’s supporters, at least a few of them, took ROTC in college. The only connection Barack’s zombies had with ROTC was picketing the armory.
Hillary supporters use the word “like” as a verb to describe something for which they have affection. Obama and his supporters use “like” as an adjective. To quote the candidate himself, “I’ve answered like eight questions already.”
Hillary vs. Barack - isn’t it a shame they can’t both lose?
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1078914
I figured it was a mistake, but the article's on line (for a while, until they change the URL) and the byline hasn't been changed.
Howie reads novels? I guess he really is a beautiful person.
