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Fri column ping

Dem committee calling more moonbats to the flock
By Howie Carr | Friday, March 7, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com

If you are a moonbat, there is only one place you can possibly be tomorrow - at Bunker Hill Community College in Charlestown for the state Democratic Committee meeting.

The committee, which is of course controlled by Gov. Deval Patrick (because he controls the hack jobs), will be electing 94 “add-on” members from the following categories:

“Male Youth; Female Youth; Male College; Female College; Female Affirmative Action; Male Affirmative Action; Male Veteran; Female Veteran; Female Labor; Male Labor; Gay Male; Lesbian; Male Disabled; Female Disabled; Female French-Speaking; Male French-Speaking; Male Portuguese-Speaking; Female Portuguese-Speaking; Female Senior; Male Senior; Gender Balance.”

What, no transgendered category? I’m sure that oversight will be remedied soon enough. But here’s the really special part about tomorrow: Every candidate gets to make a speech.

Don’t you wish you could be there in Ward 2 tomorrow?

Even John Walsh, the “chair” (as opposed to chairman) of the party, shudders at the train wreck this produces. In his letter to the, uh, real members of the committee, he totes that this election in the past has “taken the entire day - stretching eight to 12 hours.”

His italics, not mine.

So this year, in what I’m guessing will be a futile attempt not to waste the entire day on this, Walsh has issued an “add-on candidates book,” in which the candidates can make a pitch for themselves.

Here’s a typical one, from a “gender balance” candidate from Cambridge named Laurie Leyshon, who includes a photo of herself with Barack Obama:

“I want to create . . . a Nation that is committed to Healing the Earth and All her People who have been so terribly harmed by our past and current transgressions.”

With so many categories in which to claim victimhood, some candidates admit that they had a difficult decision to make.

“I could have run,” says Paul Sousa of Cambridge, “as a male youth/student, Portuguese speaker or gay male.”

He chose the last, and now finds himself running against, among others, a “gay vegan idealist,” the “National co-vice-chair of the Lavender Caucus of SEIU” and a “successful state politics blogger.”

Everyone has to list their political experience, and what experiences they have:

“I have interned for Corporate Accountability International . . . I volunteered my time reaching out to the environmental community . . . Now on staff at the American Federation of Teachers . . . I met (Al Gore) while at Harvard Divinity School . . . I currently work for a non-profit . . . I currently work in human services as a program director for a non-profit . . .”

There are some garden-variety hacks, like Mary Oroszko, a $58,000-a-year Worcester coat-holder for Lt. Gov. Tim Murray. In a truly miraculous gesture of outreach, there are even a handful of candidates who have real jobs, in the Dreaded Private Sector. Very few. For instance, Gene Ring, of Medford, running for a “Veteran-Male” slot. He’s worked for a bunch of pols (good!) but then he did something very bad.

“I am now a small business owner, which is something I believe the Democratic Party needs more of in its ranks.”

Good luck, Gene. You’re going to need it.

Disabled - male? My money’s on William Wood.

“I have been disabled all my life . . . I understand the concept of hidden disabilities, becoming disabled and being disabled. I created the theory of phobic disabilities regarding anti-human development of the disability community. I have written plays about the subject of disability, have a Ph.D. focusing on disability . . .”

See you in Charlestown tomorrow - not.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1078392