 Billy and Diana Sparkle say it is OK for the woman to go for it and propose to her man during this leap year month. (Photo by Jan Somma-Hammel) |
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Posted on 02/29/2008 8:46:50 AM PST by Incorrigible
By CAROLYN RUSHEFSKY
Billy and Diana Sparkle say it is OK for the woman to go for it and propose to her man during this leap year month. (Photo by Jan Somma-Hammel) |
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NEW YORK — Bachelors beware: This is leap year, when, according to legend, women can leap into marriage by proposing to the man of their choice on Feb. 29.
According to a law allegedly decreed in 1288 by Queen Margaret of Scotland, any gentleman who refused a damsel's marriage proposal was subject to a fine.
Nowadays, a bachelor can just say "No."
Which is exactly what Robert Schneider told the former Judith Gaige.
"After they were dating a while, my mother asked my father to marry her — but he said no," said the couple's son, Kenneth Schneider. "They dated for four more years, and then my father asked my mom to marry him. They've been married for 36 years," Schneider said of his parents, who live on Staten Island.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with it," Schneider said of a woman proposing to her man. "If two people are in love, and the guy hasn't taken the step to do it, I say it's fine for the woman to propose.
"As for me, personally, I prefer to be the one to do that." said Schneider, who was indeed the one to propose marriage to his future bride, Shannon Murphy, after they had been dating for a year and a half. The couple's wedding date is July 5.
Diana Sparkle, co-founder with her husband, Billy, of Dream Fulfillment Coaching, gives lectures on such topics as "How to Create your Dream Romantic Relationship." "If a woman really loves the guy, I say go for it," she said. "If he says no, she should accept that. A proposal is just a proposal, not a demand."
"A woman should feel the personal freedom to ask a man to marry her, and not let the 'rules' of the world prevent her from doing what she wants," Billy Sparkle said.
"If he says no, thank him for letting her know he doesn't have the ability to recognize what a great opportunity it would be for him to have been married to her, and then quickly get far away from him and find the man who would have that ability," he said.
"With men, they're ready when they're ready, and it doesn't matter who asks," Diana Sparkle said. "And there's more than one way to propose than getting down on one knee.
"If a woman uses her creativity to create an environment for an informal way of proposing, even just saying, 'Why don't we get married?' it's less stressful for her than trying to copy the traditional male version of proposing," such as going to an expensive restaurant and presenting a ring, she said.
The Sparkles say they became engaged only two days after they were introduced to each other. Neither remembers who proposed.
"It wasn't a standard proposal," Billy Sparkle said. "We were talking to each other on our second evening together, enjoying each other's company, finding out that we had so much in common, and I think I said, 'I can see us being together for the rest of our lives,' and she agreed."
The couple celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary in December.
New Yorkers, when asked, "Is it OK for a woman to propose marriage to the man she loves," generally said they see nothing wrong with it, but added they wouldn't want that for themselves.
Nicole Scarcella, engaged to be married in May 2009, said she is old-fashioned and would not do it, but adds, "More power to the woman who does."
Jennifer DeFazio and Jeanine Corolla, each married with two children, both agree a woman proposing marriage to her man is fine, but they would not do it themselves.
Their friend, Christine Wilkins, a married mother of two daughters, is dead-set against it, however.
"I am a modern woman who believes women should earn as much as a man," said Wilkins.
"Women have definitely proven themselves to be as smart as men and that they can provide for themselves. But I still think the man has the upper hand today when it comes to love and commitment. If a man wants to marry, he will ask. There is no reason for a woman to ask."
But modern women are-a-changing when it comes to proposing to men, if not marriage, then at least for a date.
On Feb. 29, women are invited to invoke the spirit of Sadie Hawkins at "Single Women Arise to Snare Bachelors," at Xaverian High School in Brooklyn. The parochial school lined up 15 of its best male teacher specimens, ranging in age from 24 to 64, to be auctioned off as dates for charity.
"Sadie Hawkins Day is a women's liberation event, celebrated all over the country, except for some strange reason, not in New York, the women's lib capital of the world," said Xaverian spokesman John Positano.
"The event originated in 1937, when Al Capp created a cartoon depicting a nationwide celebration of Sadie Hawkins Day, a foot race in which spinsters pursued the town's bachelors, who had to marry the lady who caught them," Positano said.
And while the cartoon event usually occurred in November, it's happening at Xaverian on Feb. 29 — a day that ancient tradition decreed that women could propose to men.
(Carolyn Rushefsky is a reporter for the Staten Island Advance. She may be reached at rushefsky(at)siadvance.com.)
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If a woman has to propose to a guy, it's probably because she's already living with him anyway.
Related thread:
That’s why I called in sick today.
Interesting, I did not know this. I know one couple, however, who is celebrating their second anniversary today, even though they have been married 8 years... that guy is a GENIUS..
Women can take a leap.
If it leaps like a frog, it’s probably a frog.
Heh. Prezactly! And if a woman (who is not shacking up) doesn't know how to make a guy comfortable enough to propose to her, then she doesn't know a thing about men anyway.
I'm constantly amazed by guys who propose to girl and admit they have no idea if she'll say yes. Good grief, if she does,they are in for a world of hurt.
There was just that certain Sparkle in their relationship...
Okay, but my husband’s not really gonna be very happy when I bring a new guy home.
lol!
Oh, sure, laugh at my predicament.
I’ve had my eye on a pretty little “Goth” boy who works at Michael’s Arts & Crafts for a while now.
[LOL!]
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