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To have or not to have children that is the question?

Either way you choose if it is what you want it becomes the selfish choice, so the argument that "No, you're the selfish one" is moot. Unless you are having or not having children against your own personal desire for the benefit of others you are making the "selfish" choice, and if you are having or not having children based upon somebody else's opinion you may be making a choice much more foolish than if you went with what you wanted.

To each his own. If you don't want kids, by all means don't have them. If you do want kids, check your motives twice, be honest with yourself and then procreate to your hearts content. Blessings to those of you who adopt children!

Just don't do what I did and gradually change your mind when it is partially too late to undo the past.

I singlemindedly focused on my career and did not get married until later than most of my friends, children were not something I ever thought about. Then I waited a few years to enjoy being newlyweds. Then I waited a year until I could get part way out of a financial pitfall I got into. Then after a scary pregnancy my wife wanted to wait a bit before having a second child. We are now 2/3 way through a second scary pregnancy and I'm not sure if everything goes well if I'll be able to talk my wife into a third child. With my wife's pregnancy history and her age, I'm not sure if we might be pushing our luck too far if we wait a while after this child to have a third.

Now that it is too late I find myself thinking that since we're making the lifestyle changes kids require of you, we might as well have a house full. Hopefully my previous financial sacrifices will soon pay off and things will quickly improve for us financially and we'll be able to hire a maid or a nanny so that we can still live like we don't have kids some of the time.

Either way you choose if it is what you want it becomes the "selfish" choice,

That was the basic point of my earlier post. The rest of your post illustrates one of my secondary points: that you may find that what you thought you wanted isn't really what you wanted in the long term.

Best wishes for your current pregnancy!

If you have a couple more kids (even adopted), the older kids can eventually help take care of the younger kids, plus run errands and do a lot of the chores (though not initially or invariably up to your standards!) and thus you win back into a state of managerial perks and semi-leisure.

Plus your clever children can keep you supplied with fabulous snacks.

Or so my wise materfamilias tells me...