Posted on 02/17/2008 5:53:44 AM PST by raccoonradio
Howie Carr thread; Howie is on vacation all week I believe (not sure who's filling in) but if there are columns (as there was in today's Herald) I'll post 'em. Talk about the show, etc.
Howie Carr column ping. Note: Yesterday’s Globe did not mention the cross dressing at all.’
When Judge Roberta goes a-courting
By Howie Carr | Sunday, February 17, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com
When is the next opening on the Mass. Supreme Judicial Court?
You see, I have the perfect candidate in mind for Gov. Deval Patrick - an extinguished, er distinguished jurist who would fit perfectly in the squalid, perverted hackerama that is the Massachusetts judiciary.
I refer, of course, to outgoing federal bankruptcy judge Robert “Roberta” Somma. Talk about your impeccable credentials for a Mass. state judgeship: He is now a convicted drunken driver, and an alleged cross-dresser. He was arrested last week in Manchester, N.H., after staggering out of the Breezeway, “New Hampshire’s favorite gay bar,” in a black cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels. Did I mention he was appointed to the bench by President Bush?
Judge Roberta then drove his Mercedes E320 sedan onto Elm Street, the city’s main drag, in drag, and proceeded to “rear-end,” as the Manchester Union Leader drolly put it, a pickup truck. It was 11:29 p.m.
When it comes to getting the nod from Deval, who could possibly top that looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places resume? Other than Carl Stanley McGee, of course.
You had to know the judge was going to come to a very bad end when it was first reported in the Union Leader that, according to the police report, he “had a difficult time locating his license in his purse.”
His purse?
After a very thoughtful discussion of Somma’s predicament on my radio show, complete with Tiny Tim’s immortal recording of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips,” I attempted to get the judge’s side of the story Friday. First I called the courthouse, where his “judicial assistant,” Peggy, picked up the phone.
“I know he won’t be calling YOU back!” she sneered.
So I called his house in Newbury, where he lives, or lived, with his wife, Wendy, who was almost as rude to a Manchester reporter as Peggy was to me. But I wanted to ask him a question that had been raised by a Manchester reader. Alas, there was no answer, but I decided to leave a message on his voice mail anyway.
Judge, I asked, wasn’t that a fashion faux pas, wearing that slinky little Audrey Hepburn cocktail number during Valentine’s Week, when every debutramp knows that red is de rigueur, with white, not black fishnets?
I didn’t get into any of the more sordid rumors - that he had adjourned, shall we say, to a basement room known as “the Woodshed,” or that on the back of his Mercedes is a bumper sticker: “My other robe is a Vera Wang.” I wouldn’t think of inquiring if his purse is a real designer brand or a knockoff.
I could make sport of him for blowing a .12 on the Breathalyzer. No wonder he almost fell down as he tried to get out of the car. Of course he failed the field sobriety test. Have you ever tried the “walk and turn” portion while wearing four-inch Prada heels?
When the first story appeared, minus the highly amusing details, I wondered what Judge Roberta was doing in Manchester on a weeknight. Now an unnamed city official tells the local paper, “He told police his wife was out of town . . . so he decided to come up to Manchester where no one would know him.”
And where the case couldn’t be fixed. Like Carl Stanley McGee, the $115,000-a-year Deval aide now charged with molesting a young boy in a Florida steam room, Judge Roberta forgot that there is still a large country out there where this sort of behavior is frowned upon, at least in public. That country is called America.
Oh well, it’s over now for the judge, at least until Deval can arrange a soft landing on the state bench, where he so obviously belongs. He got a bad ice cube, is all. There comes a night when the best gets tight, as Rudyard Kipling put it. It’s easy to straighten things out. Just have your “spouse” donate $1,000 to Barack Obama and you’re appointed the next day. That’s how things work around here now.
And if a judgeship doesn’t pan out, Somma might consider television. Judge Maria Lopez’ syndicated show just got canceled this week. Remember the old courtroom series “Divorce Court”? I think Judge Roberta would be perfect to preside over the revamped, vamped-up modern Massachusetts version: “Gay Divorce Court.”
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1074045
ping for the Mon & Tue shows. Substitute host.
Tue ping; Avi again?>
This Ken guy is a freakin’ clown
I think he called up Michelle McPhee (WTKK) a bit later!
Avi said Bob Hendlun on Wed, then Avi again Thu & Fri
Howie column ping
Yeah, they sound the same, but I’ve been telling you that
By Howie Carr | Wednesday, February 20, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com
How desperate is Hillary Clinton when she’s accusing Barack Obama of lifting material from Deval Patrick?
First of all, Deval is working for him - you can’t steal something from somebody who’s working for you. Second of all, if Barack ever does get caught lifting material from somebody else who’s not on the team, he can always dust off the ultimate excuse:
It wasn’t plagiarism, it was an homage.
That’s what those wacky Jerry Lewis-loving French film directors always used to say when somebody caught them lifting scenes, shot by shot, from a crappy Grade B Monogram film noir.
This is a very gray area, but I don’t think Obama is even close to the line. I mean, when I first heard Sunday that the Clintons were peddling this “plagiarism” story, I thought they must be kidding. On my radio show, we’ve been running back-to-back audio cuts for weeks now of Barack and Deval - one yelling “Yes, we can!” and the other one leading the chant, “Together, we can!”
Plus I could have sworn I wrote two columns right after Hillary won this state 56-41, basically saying that Massachusetts Democrats heard all the same lines from Barack that they’d heard from Deval in 2006, and that they weren’t buying another pig in a poke.
I guess nobody read those columns of mine, which is a lot more depressing than being plagiarized, I can tell you that.
Remember a guy on the old Boston School Committee named Joe Casper? Back in 1985, he was rooting through the garbage on Court Street (that’s the kind of guy he was, OK?). In the trash he discovered a speech that his colleague Rita Walsh-Tomasini was going to deliver to some high school group.
Knowing that he was scheduled to speak at the same event first, Casper grabbed the speech out of the wastebasket. A day or two later, he delivered her speech, word for word, as Rita sat on the stage in the traditional stunned disbelief. When it was her turn, Rita got up and said she’d decided not to deliver a full address, but just to congratulate everyone. Needless to say, she got a bigger hand from the crowd than Casper.
But Casper, always the jokester, was unrepentant.
“It was God’s will,” he said of the speech’s appearance in the trash can. “I never said I wrote it.”
Maybe it wasn’t plagiarism, but it was definitely stealing.
The difference with Barack and Deval is that Deval gave the lines to him, willingly, or at least didn’t care if he used them. It’s very simple. If Barack wins, Deval wins.
Look, I’ve coined a lot of nicknames for people, but the fact is, some of the best ones were spoon-fed to me. A guy from Milton told me the other night how much he liked my nickname for Sen. Brian Joyce - Multiple-Choice Joyce.
That is a good nickname, and I’m glad to take full credit for it. But the fact is that it was given to me by one of Joyce’s political foes during the 2001 congressional race. The real author has told me he doesn’t want me ever to reveal him as the “source,” as it were. Ditto, the guy who pinned the nickname “Muffy” on Kerry Healey.
Sometimes people don’t claim credit for other people’s work because there’s even more cachet in citing an authority. Like Billy Bulger with James Michael Curley’s line about the Ancient & Honorables: “Invincible in peace, invisible in war.”
It’s a guaranteed winner of a quote whenever you deliver it, but crediting it to Curley makes you appear almost erudite.
This has been going on forever. It’s just that very few politicians have ever thought to whine about it until now. But Hillary is drowning, and drowning women are desperate. Just ask Ted Kennedy.
I read that last line on the Internet yesterday, I think. Or maybe I added the part about Ted Kennedy. Whatever, it’s in the paper now. Consider it God’s will.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1074743
This one is another masterpiece. Howie is the first writer since early Hunter S. Thompson who can make me literally laugh out loud as I read. That’s a gift.
Regards,
LH
LOL! I may give this line a workout myself!
Howie nails it again.........
Wed show ping; Bob Hendlund hosts today
What happened to Avi? I can’t stand Hedlund! :(
Whatsamatta, youze got no love for tha sennutah?
I think he’s an idiot — not to be judgmental . . . ;-)
I agree, however, I'll take Hedlund over the felon and that screamin' banshee wendy murphy and that other fool ellen o'brien and while I'm at it maryellen burns....AND that other clown, gonzo, WHERE do they get these people?
Hedlund bothers me the most (well, maybe except for Ellen O’Brien), probably because he’s supposed to be a Republican. Of course, I’ve been a registered Unenrolled (as we say in MA) for a few years now, when the MA Republican party just crossed the line (I think it was when they were planning to insert a pro-abortion plank in the state platform).
Yeah Hedlund is a couple brewskies short of a 6 pack, but, he’s a lot better than the felon, the screamin’ banshee et al, I too would like to hear the colonel or Avi......I listen to Jerry Doyle at 10pm after SAVAGE!
Avi said he’d be on again, as far as he knows, Thu & Fri
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