And that's exactly what I meant. Guys are used to women who put them last in all things. Sometimes this is truly based in fact, sometimes it's only a perception.
Women don't really get the value of machinery to (some) men, just like men don't get women and shoes, purses, flowers or romance novels. For some guys, that motorcycyle/fast car/boat is the only thing left in their life that gives back far more than it demands, and never fails to put a smile on their face when they shift into 3rd, or get that chrome gleaming *just so*. Other guys nod and think, *cool* in a way that they just don't when you're packed into the minivan on the way to the soccer game.
I get it. I really, really do. I know how I feel when I'm dressed smart with a cute, fresh haircut. It feel good. Validating.
But the reality is that we should be getting validation from our selves, not our *stuff*. We should be getting pride from how we feel when we look in the mirror. From knowing that we're solid, good, honorable people, worthy of respect. Not from a motor or from the quality of our shelter or from the crap we wear on our backs.
We only get over our obsession with stuff when one of two things happen: A person develops true self esteem and they don't need things to feel validated. (*True* self-esteem only develops when we're challenged and when we triumph. Then you *know* who you are and you like it.) OR a person looses something precious, gets a reality check and finally understands what's really important. Ask any parent who's lost a child how important a cool car is to them.
I don't disagree, but I'm not talking about consumerism, keeping up with the joneses, or validation.
I'm talking about joy, happiness. Not the temporary validation that comes from buying stuff or impressing the neighbors, but an outlet that relieves stress and provides lasting enjoyment.
And I can relate to comments on what's really important, but that perspective continually adjusts as you move through life.