[Skywalk]

I think what you have there is not just competition but the natural impulse to find a protector and provider. The problem is, it gets distorted in our modern society (we are long out of the caves) and there are no mechanisms to short-circuit the grasping for status and wealth.

For instance, a poor woman in Victorian England could not marry a ‘gentleman’ even if she were gorgeous because they were not of the same station and it is doubtful she’d ever learn how to carry herself (though obviously, in real life, many things are possible beyond perception.) Royalty and nobility married royalty and nobility. This both allowed mediocre(looking) women to marry men above their station (in certain cases) but allowed people to mainly focus on their own social class, which meant that while a woman may not want to marry a drunk, she had to ‘settle’ for a certain type of husband.

Now, in our modern free-for-all, men think they deserve Jessica Alba (I do, but that’s because I’m so smart and handsome) and women think they can all land a rich, handsome Senator or professional athlete.

There’s often no cap on expectations, ESPECIALLY as people get a little older.

When I was 18-24 I could get the most beautiful woman of any status (almost) and the vast majority, even the materialistic ones, were still not TOO into status of their mate (though it seems that has changed now, too.) Now? I can be more intelligent, funnier and better looking than my potential mate and I won’t be good enough because I’m not a doctor or someone with that kind of current income (or immediate income potential.)

But that’s just how it is. Have to keep working at it and working at yourself until you cannot be denied and you have the largest possible pool to pick from (and be picked by.)

[TalonDJ]

I can be more intelligent, funnier and better looking than my potential mate and I won’t be good enough because I’m not a doctor or someone with that kind of current income (or immediate income potential.)

It is all about expectations. I wanted a woman that wanted to homeschool my future kids. Hence I knew I needed an income that would support that. Hence I needed a woman that wanted a man that had an income that would support her being able to stay home and raise kids in the style that she grew up in. It is no surprise at all that both my wife and I have technical degrees and both our dads do too and that both our mom's stayed home growing up. I would not even have looked twice at a woman that wanted more than that or much else than that. Woman that wanted a career over kids were not even on the scope. I did not lament over that or worry about it much. It is not about how many women you can get when you only want one. Could I 'get' fewer woman at the age I was married than back in college? Beats me! Why should I care? The kind of woman I wanted was not looking for a guy half way through college. And incidentally when I was in college my now-wife was too busy with highschool to worry about guys. Hence to HER (the only one I care about) I was vastly more attractive as a mate at 29 than I would have been at 20.