Marry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough

Atlantic Monthly ^ | March 2008 | Lori Gottlieb

[reaganaut1]

About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.

“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

[najida]

Seems we have an inflated opinion of ourselves if we wait for love and like our own company ;)

[najida]

Well,
there is quanity and then there is quality....

Lots of bad is still...
well, bad.

[piytar]

Related article re: child support aka debtors’ prison for men: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1970170/posts

[Soliton]

For men: There is no such thing as bad sex.

There sure is. I can give you names if you like. mostly it's not physical, but emotional. There are a lot of neurotic people in the world and 51% are women.

[riverdawg]

“Marry the person you could not spend the rest of your life WITHOUT.”

Great advice.

[RosieCotton]

On Valentine’s Day, no less...

[JoanVarga]

If your “Mr. Right Template” is set up so you don’t settle for Mr. Wrong, then it’s a good thing.

Very well said!

[tioga]

I suspect the ditz who wrote this drivel was too in love with herself to see a great guy right in front of her. Too bad for her.

[najida]

Well,
I love you and think you’re special.

Keep waiting hun, it IS worth it.

[Ouderkirk]

My advise to single women who want to find a mate...don’t have bastard children.

No self respecting man wants to provide for the progeny of another. He won’t love the progeny of another the way that he loves his own. He won’t make the sacrifices for the progeny of another the way he will for his own.

You want stability...don’t marry a man who has children with another woman.

[Philistone]

For one thing, studies have shown they have better sex lives than single people.

Depressing thought, isn't it...

[Bob]

How many men have settled for Miss “Oh my God I’ll never drink again”?

I met Miss Right and married her. I should have paid more attention to her first name. It turns out that the nickname Ali stood for Always and not Alison. :=)

[TalonDJ]

Well, they do get it more often.

That is the same thing, right?

[USS Alaska]

I get married in 16 days, I'll get back to everyone with my results!

Just a little advice.

Do it more than tell about it. No one except your spouse really cares.

[trisham]

I don’t think this poor woman should be giving advice to anyone.

[PurpleMan]

“settling for Mr. Good Enough”

How about, settling for Mrs. Good Enough?

[TalonDJ]

If women were MORE choosy (about whom they marry, choose to have kids with, etc), men would have to have better character.

The thing is that with all that relitivism a lot of folks no longer know HOW to be more choosy. They are not picking the right criteria and are getting burned.

[KC_Conspirator]

There is such thing as bad sex for men. I can add to that name list too.

[2banana]

Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

Too freaking LATE!