Nope. I’m perfectly serious. What I’m not certain about is whether owning a TV without paying the license is a civil or criminal offense. I *think* I’ve heard of jail sentences for it.
TV Licensing - Detection and Penalties
What happens if I don't have a TV Licence? |
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Using a TV or any other device to receive or record TV programmes (for example, a VCR, set-top box, DVD recorder or PC with a broadcast card) without a valid TV Licence is against the law and could lead to prosecution and a fine of up to £1,000, not to mention the embarrassment and hassle of a court appearance. |
How will you know if I don't have one? |
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There are a number of ways we can find out. At the heart of our operation is the TV Licensing database of over 28 million home and business addresses, telling us which of these have TV Licences. All of our enforcement officers have access to this database and will check whether or not you have a licence. If you are using a TV and are unlicensed, you could face prosecution and a hefty fine. We have a fleet of detector vans, plus our enforcement officers have access to hand-held detection devices capable of detecting a TV within 20 seconds. In fact, we catch on average over 1000 people watching TV without a licence every day. |
TV detector vans |
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Our TV detector vans and enforcement officers are equipped with state-of-the-art detection equipment which can tell in as little as 20 seconds whether you are using a TV. |
How do the detector vans work? |
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We have a range of detection tools at our disposal in our vans. Some aspects of the equipment have been developed in such secrecy that engineers working on specific detection methods work in isolation - so not even they know how the other detection methods work. This gives us the best chance of catching licence evaders |
What if you can't get close enough to detect my TV in your van? |
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We can use a hand-held scanning device. These measure both the direction and strength of a signal, making it easy for us to locate TVs - even in the hardest to reach places. |
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An alternate view:
Now, first of all, the actual existence of a fleet of detector vans is a mythology that has been created over half a century by BBC press officers. The vans that drive around are therefore deception vans rather than detector vans.