Posted on 02/08/2008 11:02:10 AM PST by kkalman
Presidential Primary Texas Vote for Sale
Since I don’t really care about the election and obviously a bunch of you do, I’ve decided to do what any smart capitalist would do….sell my vote! Hey look, the elected officials do it all the time once they are in office, so why I can’t I sell my vote?
Sorry to say that I’m currently registered as a Republican. Not sorry that I am a republican, but sorry that this reduces the size of my target market. Note: there is still a way to make this a vote for Hillary, see below.
The way I look at this, you will be helping the economy as I promise NOT to use this money for any debts or savings, but I’ll go spend it on something totally worthless. Possible drawback however….if I buy something made in China, it will likely have crazy amounts of lead and I could get sick and spend way more than these proceeds in medical expenses. But…that would still be good for the economy, right? Hey this is also a way to help Hillary (if that is a good thing to you) since I would be a great example of all that is wrong with our non-socialized, non-government-managed-mandated health care system. Ooops…
If I spend this money with an illegal alien, I’ll make sure to pre-tax that money and send it to the IRS so that I’m not adding to the horrible burden of illegal aliens on the economy.
Okay…wasting time now. So here is the deal. You pay me $50.00 cash (or gold) and I’ll vote on your behalf (GOP candidates only). I’ll sneak a video camera into the booth to get proof for you. Probably put that on YouTube since that is such a credible site (giggle).
Disclaimers:
I can only vote once (more than once would be illegal!) $50.00 is the minimum sale price – best offer wins! FREE SHIPPING! No Exchanges No Refunds No Conspiracy Theory Accusations No Jello No Flip Flopping
Will not sell to: Microsoft Members (current or former) of Al-Qaeda Enron People obsessed with Soduko Pedro Christopher Reeve People who pronounce the word “Ask” as “Axe” People who pronounce the word “Strength” as “Strenth” People who say “incinerating” or “physicality” Jonas Brothers
People with first or last names that begin or end with: Q, Z, I or ~ Jello Cat lovers Ambidextrous People (ambidextrous animals are fine) Fans of: Celine Dion, Hannah Montana, Dane Cook (he is just not funny!), Kenny Rodgers, yellow clothes, Barry Bonds, Tom Brady, Tom Cruise, Acorn Squash and the number 17.
You could bundle your vote with some carbon credits and make even more bucks.
Actually, he should save that $50 to help pay the IRS when the RINORATS raise it in ‘09.
He should also exclude people who say “nu-cu-lar” instead of “nu-cle-ar”.
Will he take Pesos instead?
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