Posted on 02/08/2008 12:52:43 AM PST by a_chronic_whiner
I am a woman. I can’t speak for all women, just myself. As a woman I can’t believe that most women would just choose to have a child as a single woman.
Many have some fantasy that some day the Prince will ride by on the White Horse, but at the same time many know that until then some compromise may have to do. Britney/Madonna/Paris has one set of temporary solutions. Are the girls as bad as they boys now? Maybe they were a decade ago, but . . .
There are an awful lot of step moms and dads out there, for you to think that men or women wouldn’t marry someone who already had children.
There is character out there. I don’t think people look in many of the right places.
“Are the girls as bad as they boys now?”
What does that mean?
There aren’t any “right” places.
My wife and I recommend churches, service clubs and special interest clubs. The first two are fairly straight foward, but if you have a hobby or sport you like, get more involved with others along those lines. Volunteering can also bring you into contact with some quality people. I still think there are good quality people out there if you look in the right places. There are lonely people out there, both men and women. If you’ve tried these then I don’t have further suggestions. Good luck to you.
I know a number of women who agree with Ann Coulter when she said that she would gladly give up her right to vote if other women couldn’t vote either.
McCain could beat Obama because he (McCain) will have the hispanic vote, but Hillary has too many demographic groups on her side to beat, alas. Obama will be the last black politician of either party to have a chance at high office ever as the hispanic group grows.
Whoa, there is plenty of blame to go around. First, are families (fathers in particular) who don’t protect their daughters from predatory males or insist that their sons respect women. Then there are the women themselves who seem quite willing to be involved in temporary relationships and then abandoned and the men who feel no guilt in using women and casting them and their offspring aside. The children grow up to repeat the sins of their parents.
It takes both men and women to build strong families.
That’s some interesting logic, and I agree with it. With the flood of hispanics into this nation, blacks are on the road to another disenfranchisement politically. Of course that’s if they continue to play the racial separation card.
They need to get with the program and vote for folks why truly do have their best interests at heart.
What kind of single woman are you talking about?
a. Never married, no children?
b. Never married with children, no intention of every marrying?
c. Never married, with children, hoping to get married?
d. Divorced, with children, hoping to remarry?
e. Divorced, no children, hoping to remarry one day?
f. Divorced, with children, no intention of ever remarrying?
g. Divorced, no children, no wanting to remarry?
h. Widowed, with children, hoping to remarry one day?
i. Widowed, no children, no intention of remarrying?
j. Widowed, no children, hoping to marry and have kids?
j. Widowed, with children, no intention of ever remarrying?
I can state that each of the above will vote differently, sometimes by increments within a party, some are polar opposites. The single, never married (and many have posted on this list) could be college conservatives who are trying to wait until marriage to have a family.
OR, they could be second generation welfare waiting for their chance to find a baby daddy.
Those two would vote differently.
There is actually a single mom on this thread, never married who adopted a family of children. She’s made it pretty clear how she’ll vote. So, do you lump her in the ‘evil single woman voting wrongly’ category?
There are many single moms here who are divorced, widowed, still married but hubby’s picture is up in the post office. Do you paint THEM with the same brush? The don’t abuse the system, but they are also struggling to keep their heads above water.
And to put it bluntly, when they post their stories, they get shouted down by the bitter boys, who seem to believe that no woman can ever suffer as badly as a man. So I’ve seen them simply shut up over time. Go to other boards, post in PM’s etc. So yes, it’s not even remotely fair on these threads.
There are women here who have never had children and never want to—— yet they vote conservative and don’t abuse the system.
For some bizarre reason, conservatism, the bastion of the individual just loves pigeon-holing people and slapping labels on things quicker than my pregnant SIL. And I am going to make the statement that on these ‘wimmen R evil’ threads, ALL women get painted with the same stripes.
And it pisses us off!
Each ‘single’ woman is different....What is angering the women here, is that we are all lumped together and painted with the same brush. And we seem to be vilified for simply being female.
I do not disagree that there are women within the above groups that abuse the system. I agree that there are those who from day one set out to abuse the system. I do not disagree that there are issues. I don’t believe anything will be solved on this forum, other than just driving deeper wedges between people.
Which is happening. Conservatism seems to be not only splitting between moderates and the ‘true’ but now, not by our choice, we women are finding ourselves separated out because of our sex.
The solutions seem to boil down to taking away all women’s rights to vote (including us here who are on ‘your’ side), taking away welfare privileges for single moms (has mostly good points, maybe a few twerks would be needed).
Other ideas are-— Forcing women to marry, taking away illegitimate children, sterilizing repeat welfare queens, taking away no fault divorce.....and then there are the delightful extremists who believe women should have no rights at all....none (and yes, they do post here...)
IOW, these threads are just more of the same ole same ole....So, we ping each other to at least offer each other support. There is always one brave girl to go in swinging.
BTW, I’m an ‘i’, with a Deloris Claybornish romantic streak ;) and 3 times her independence. She didn’t get that way from hugs and kisses.
Look, my post five here was a thoughtless post. I’ve said so in the thread. I don’t disagree with you here.
I will say that all the good intentions in the world cannot keep your children safe from preditors.
Nobody alive spent less time away from their children in the formitive years. Both of my kids ran into a preditor in the homes (different homes) of people we had known for years.
Sorry, I didn’t read far enough to see your next post. And you are correct, no matter how hard we try, we can’t always protect our kids from evil. My comment was aimed at parents (fathers in particular) who are either absent or just don’t care enough to stand up for what is right and protect their kids.
Please accept my sympathy for what happened to your kids. It must have broken your heart.
I know more women who don’t want to get married that those who do (in my age range). Nearly every late 40 and above women I know has said something to the effect of “I love my husband, but when he’s gone, I do NOT want to be married again.” The stats support it....and it’s not about money.
There’s a reason some women leave husbands after 30 years of marriage, after the kids are grown and gone, and again, it’s not about money. I’ll let you guys figure it out.
I grew up around women who when widowed (no one divorced- EVER) they made it clear that they were finished dealing with men. They’d paid their dues, had their babies, worked 24 hour days on the farm and ‘put up’ with being married (to quote Miss Sandra). My Mama, Granny, Half-sister included (OK, she’s still married, but she’ll tell you she hates it....and she’s nearly 68and been married 40+ years).
Simply put, marriage sucks for a lot of people. (at least, that’s what I hear in RL and then read here).
And yes, this was told to me front pew of church by Miss Mala after her hubby was buried. And the change in those ladies was amazing....the “Church Lady Widows” were the happiest group of women in town. Again, it wasn’t about money.
Not one of those women ever dated, much less remarried -—OK, Miss Louise did, but she married a stinker who went to the farmer’s market to hang out with the guys while she was home sick with lung cancer.....finally her family came and got her. Rumor has it he didn’t notice for 2 days. So she kinda made the point about remarriage being a bad choice.
Maybe we as a culture should examine why marriage has lost its shine? I know I won’t do it again. No matter how ‘nice’ the man or how good in bed or how rich. Like I said, Deloris Clayborne wasn’t created from too much affection.
I know what freedom is, and it’s scary. Absolutely terrifying. It means I could go hungry, loose my house, do without a car, be without lights, no be able to go to the Dr., pay for meds.
There’s a reason I’d rather live with a garden hose and a drop cord (which I have done). But that’s the price tag for freedom and the joy of being alone without someone making demands (Oops, I think I gave away the church lady’s secret).
So again, the change in our culture may have deeper roots than people milking the system. I’m not saying that the loss of the concept of true freedom and hardship is lost. I’m not saying that folks view heat, running water, a roof over there heads more as a right than a privilege.
I’m saying, from my POV, there seems to be more wrong.
BINGO! We have a winner!
I kinda like being married.
If I found myself in a situation where I was single again, I wouldn’t jump right into marriage again though.
Not because I think marriage is a bummer - but because I don’t think I would luck out twice and meet someone like my hubby again.
I’m happy for you... those who are in happy marriages are extremely blessed. I do believe they are very very rare indeed.
Hey, you responded to that post like you should have. I appreciate your comments.
Well, let’s just say it was extremely frustrating. You have this idea the law will be there to help out, but when family members drop in that are foreign nationals and very mobile, it’s really difficult to obtain justice.
We were just fortunate things weren’t worse than they were.
And yet statistics show that a large portion of women that filed later regret doing so. They thought things would turn out better and they threw away a perfectly usable man in a sellers market.
Um Dude, you’re living in a dream land.
I’m sorry you have had such a negative experience.
I hope that even if you never marry again, you will at least meet someone who will lift your spirits :)
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