In my genealogy research I discovered that my 1st cousin 6 times removed married my husband’s first cousin 7 times removed in October 1800 joining two of the most important families in eastern Kentucky at the time. I wish I could find their descendants but haven’t been able to. Anyway, my sister in law claims that our marriage is incestuous.
My husband and I are half, third cousins. That is because we are from Utah and our Great-great grandfather had three polygamous wives - we are descended from different wives.
Heck I’m related to half the State because of polygamy!
First cousins and first cousin 6X removed and first cousin 7X removed are not the same thing at all.
The gap of 6X removed and 7X removed mean that's how many generations back to the common ancestor. Your and your wife's grandparents determine first cousins through their children; i.e., your grandparents had children that were siblings, and the siblings' children would be first cousins. I'm not even sure she's got the removed part right because it's complicated and I work it out in my genealogy program calculator.
My paternal great grandfather and great grandmother were first cousins. Technically that would be considered incestuous. Their common ancestor was their grandfather 2 generations B4. One of common grandfather's daughters was his mother, and one of their common grandfather's son was her father. That son and daughter were siblings but married non-relatives. You know what determines a first cousin if you have any. If not, I'll try to explain it better. And I hope I explained that one right.
You can work it out in your mind if any common grandparent had any children who were siblings with one marrying your father and one marrying your mother. It didn't happen, did it?