[Billthedrill]

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker

Well, somebody had to post it.

[T. Rustin Noone]

I love a martini
One.
Two at most.
Three. I’m under the table.
Four. I’m under the host.

Dorothy Parker