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To: P-Marlowe; blue-duncan

what’s great about being Mormon AND living in West Virginia?

You can marry ALL your cousins!


1,511 posted on 01/22/2008 8:28:10 PM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain! True Supporters of Our Troops Support the Necessity of their Sacrifice!)
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To: xzins; blue-duncan
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair, Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes.

"I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks.

I had to beat him to death with the chair."
1,524 posted on 01/22/2008 9:22:49 PM PST by P-Marlowe (LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*)
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To: xzins
Recently atop the new 60 story building being constructed in down town Salt lake City the following was overheard:

"Hey Mac, come over here to the edge with me; what's your name?"

"I'm Ralph, who are you?"

"Well, Ralph, I'm Jeff, sent here by the prophet to bring good news, are you a member of the priesthood, Ralph?"

"Yea, sure, Melchizedek in fact, Why Jeff?"

"Well, Ralph, do you recall how Jesus walked on water? Well, the prophet has been given the keys to walk on air and extends it to all the priesthood. Here, watch this."

Jeff steps off the ledge and walks out about ten feet and stands there in mid air.

"Wow!" says Ralph, "Do you mean I can do that?"

"Certainly", replies Jeff, "Just make a leap of faith."

Ralph takes a step from the ledge and plunges screaming to the pavement 60 floors below. Jeff walks back to the building and calls to another worker, "Hey, Mac, come over here."

Meanwhile on the street a passerby notices the occasional rain of bodies and approaches an apparently unconcerned worker nearby,

"Say, didn't you see several workers falling from above?"

"Oh yea, it's just Superman screwing around with the Mormons again."
1,528 posted on 01/22/2008 9:30:31 PM PST by P-Marlowe (LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*)
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