Amen to you. My husband and I were just talking about this (our kids are too young to be out by themselves, but this is our plan). I moved home after college for a year while in law school and my parents waited up for me every night I was out (and I was engaged). I was 22 and I had a curfew! They said if I lived there I lived by their rules. They weren’t going to go to bed until I was home, so I had to be home early enough not to ruin their sleep.
Now as a parent of two girls, I see their point!
I moved back in with my parents for a short time after college. No curfew here, but they wanted to know where I was.
I didn't think it too intrusive. Just polite to tell them "Going out, I'll be home by midnight" or "Spending the night at so-and-so's". So they wouldn't worry. I expected the same courtesy from them. :-)
I’ve got two girls as well and the 14-year-old can already see it coming! I moved back home during law school as well, but spent most of my time studying. Stop laughing. No, really!
Colonel, USAFR